Leighton Meester vs Michelle Keegan

Leighton Meester vs Michelle Keegan
(FCBA Independent vs Beever's Babes)
(25-28, 21 KO vs 18-14, 16 KO)
BWO Rankings: #34 vs #27
Results: Lookout!; Story: Vassago

BEFORE: Busty brunette bombshell Michelle Keegan draws immediate ire from fellow dark-haired actress Leighton Meester who seems to be chasing that former Front Street confidence: "Of course I'm gonna f### her up! Gawd, I hate these wimps who only find regular job due to the size of their cleavage! How about doing porn instead, bytch? (...) I'm STILL the best free agent available and I don't know what's worse, me getting cut by The Wiz or me staying unemployed for so long? C'mon! This is my freakin' audition tonight!"

Meanwhile the British actress prefers to ignore the Meester taunting and focuses on pure boxing performance: "Nobody has won anything via talking nonsense since Jenny McCarthy's heyday and whatever Cheryl Cole does, I can do better! Just watch me kick her free agent butt!"

Okay, so maybe Michelle fell for the taunting but the fact remains Meester hasn't won a fight since leaving Front Street in May 2017. She has lost five straight including Elizabeth Henstridge whom Keegan punched out herself a couple of months ago. The really scary part is a KO1 destruction at the hands of Avril Lavigne earlier this month which is especially mind-boggling when you consider Lavigne wasn't even allowed to grace the ring while on Front Street salary. So, just who exactly profted from the inside knowledge in that match-up?

Leighton Meester wears a red bikini set and yellow gloves. Long dark brown hair tied in a half-up ponytail. Michelle Keegan wears a black bikini set and red gloves. Long dark brown hair in loose waves. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the flyweight division.

Round 1:
Leighton's almost too desperate for her own good as she tries to dwarf the busty Brit inside the opening minute only to bounce off a stubborn wall instead; cue in a head-snapping response and you get the full picture. Leighton endures a faceful of Stockport leather and gets pinned on her heels as Keegan hauls in a plethora of unanswered leather to assume command of the action. Meester's lost at sea under this onslaught - which actually lacks the elite spark - but it's more than enough to rattle the down-on-her-luck opponent. Let's be honest, Leighton's confidence deserted her upon the first impact and she gets reeled onto the ropes in truly hopeless fashion as Michelle picks her off through the middle and rocks her head back like it's a Beevers' mid-week sparring session. The bell finaly rings on Meester's absymal performance and she might well be the WORST flyweight in the FCBA right now.

Round 2:
Beevers' coach Denise Lewis orders a full-scale attack since Meester is officially a sitting duck here. The mismatch games continue into the second when Keegan pins her rival back with more confident jabbing upstairs - just don't let her get too cute in piling all that pressure. Meester responds with a half-hearted swinging galore over the top but she only grazes the fellow brunette's flesh carrying zero outright power. Meanwhile Michelle turns it from the hip and bangs in an uppercut double that opens the floodgates and wobbles the American on her heels yet again. Leighton just can't respond from the back foot and has the Brit blasting her on speed dial leading into another tactical retreat onto the ropes. Make that a forced retreat since Meester is melting like a snowman in the middle of July... Even Keegan can't embrace this opportunity fast enough to blast the cumbersome foe onto the orbit. She still snaps Leighton's head back & fourth until the clock runs out on the one-sided sequence.

Round 3:
Can it get any worse for the Front Street cast-off? She fends off the British Invasion early in the third but that hectic retreat earns her nothing but jeers from the audience. Her lukewarm counter-punching efforts bounce off Keegan's guard and she gets promptly pinned against the turnbuckle come the one-minute mark when the fellow brunette just whacks her up the middle to follow through on the chin. Michelle clips the jugs as well just so she adds more insult to injury and Meester caves in behind a tight earmuff while gifting Keegan the chance to run riot... which she does - naturally! Michelle screams out as she rattles the overwhelmed foe in the corner and the whitewash is very much ON!!! Leighton sinks on jelly knees amid painful yelps but the British actress just can't put her away before the bell! Ugh! You can do better than that, Mich!!!

Round 4:
Nobody would blame Leighton if she pulled a Vontae Davis here and quit on her stool but that's almost a proverbial kiss of death around FCBA. Nope, Leighton's spirits haven't dropped THAT low yet... she's up for the fourth but only to suffer from more point-blank range heat as Michelle scrambes to tear her high guard apart again... Uh-oh!!! Leighton's head swivels back & forth as she gets tagged at will showing next to none resistance... she swings in response so wide off the mark she almost loses her balance and wobbles into a quick uppercut on the jaw that triggers instant moaning... Keegan whacks her on both temples and scythes across the nose to set up a drilling hook on the jaw that DROPS MEESTER DEAD MEAT on the canvas moments later. That was long frickin' overdue!!! Leighton is left spread eagle with eyes closed and the ref doesn't even bother with the count! KO4 Michelle Keegan in Beatdown of the Night fashion!!!

AFTER: "Woo! That was fun!", Michelle blows a kiss to the audience before going all hugs with Denise Lewis: "What took you so long?", the Beevers coach remains critical of that performance but you can never argue with a result like that. Meanwhile Leighton's shattered emotionally as well as physically and she just can't hide those tears of defeat when Michelle's arm is raised during the post-fight announcement.

This was as pitiful as it gets from the one-time divisional contender who might just well be the most hittable flyweight in the entire league right now. Okay, how about the WORST of them all? ESPN experts say that if Sarah Michelle Gellar came out of retirement, she'd still blow the doors of this genuine tomato can. Moreover, the poor brunette simply cannot handle the ugly truth given her tearful apologies on syndicated TV coverage later that night. She vows to bounce back in style but one should rather expect more youngsters and other upstarts piling on more pressure on this clearly broken fighter instead.

Official result: Michelle Keegan def. Leighton Meester KO4.