5. Main-Event: Kate Beckinsale vs Meghan Markle (Bantam)
Jul 22, 2018 2:59:03 GMT -6
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Post by caspian on Jul 22, 2018 2:59:03 GMT -6
5. Main-Event: Kate Beckinsale vs Meghan Markle (Bantamweight)
Kate:
(44, 5’7, 42:28:3 FCBA, Empire Boxing)
Meghan:
(37, 5’7, 9:8 FCBA, Free Agent)
BEFORE:
Kate being dismissive of the newest princess immediately, proudly declaring, “Well, she ain’t *my* princess!” when reporters ask her how she feels about punching a member of the royal family’s face in. To be honest, we hadn't even considered whether this fight might be skirting British law in more ways than one - pretty sure that assaulting a member of the British crown might throw you in jail in real life...
Meghan Markle however taking it in her stride as she comes out from backstage with a wave/flick of her wrist. She’s been practising that queenly greeting, that's for sure.
“I hereby pardon Kate for all future offenses, *including* assault and battery…” Markle saying to reporters. “If I win of course,” the gorgeous brunette laughing along with the audience, although we wonder whether she’s half serious or joking.
Obviously, Beckinsale not amused, the fiery cougar shouting back: “Shut up, princess! I don't need permission to bash your face in!”
Heated confrontation as a result at the podium as both women come face-to-face. Kate Beckinsale in a royal blue bikini and white gloves, whereas Meghan going for something more conservative in a black sports bra and gym shorts.
By ring-side, a late addition to the three-way drama: Jenny McCarthy with some follow-up taunting, lounging in her first row seat whilst heckling Kate as she ascends the ring steps: “English Crumpet!” “You’re eating humble pie tonight!” and our personal favourite, “Get stuffed, Becks!” not doing much to elaborate on her previous comments on the forums.
Beckinsale obviously trying to filter everything out, giving the blonde the cold shoulder. Markle however grinning to herself at the other corner. Rumour has it she’s been secretly getting coaching lessons from McCarthy behind the scenes. Surely, she’s picked up some Kate-slaying tactics from the bombshell to use tonight? Referee makes ready for this main-event of the evening and here we go with ten rounds of Bantamweight action!
ROUND 1:
Both girls gallop out at a fast pace, immediately punching in the direction of the head. Meghan looking focused, keeping her face hidden behind her gloves and snagging Beckinsale on the face multiple times, knocking leather into her nostrils and stunning her as a result. Crowd cheering each time this happens, like royalty teaching a commoner some manners, and truth be told, Markle having difficulty hiding her own elation, each successful jab landing on Kate’s face resulting in a bigger and wider smile on the princess’ own. Beckinsale getting outboxed by relative speed and youthfulness, but manages to rally in the last minute by hanging back and taking choice body blows into either of Meghan’s sides, dissuading her from following through all the way. Opening round goes to the princess overall though, with Kate cursing to herself at having been taken advantage of so easily.
ROUND 2:
Perhaps it’s the fact that this is Kate Beckinsale we’re talking about - at 44 years of age and still trying to push her luck in the ring? The girl still has a body to die for but it’s not exactly running in optimal conditioning. Meghan just blazing forward by comparison, keeping up the pressure with frenzied combinations to the guard, trying to overwhelm the older woman early. Kate having none of that, however, grunting not from the punches landing but more from pushing her own body to extreme: pivoting this way and that, then FORCING a right hand straight down the middle sending it CRASHING into Meghan’s face! OUCH. THAT’S GOTTA HURT! Meghan seeing stars as she shakes the pain away, that smirk completely gone. Now it’s her turn to fend off the advances! Kate taking her time, catching her breath but at the same time with steady jab jab jab at Meghan’s body and head, treating her to the same peasantry show. A wide round swings back into Beckinsale’s favour, re-establishing herself as the true monarch of the ring (damned if whatever McCarthy might have to say about that…)
ROUND 3:
Markle looking hurt, red-faced as she plays it cautious in the third. The two of them circle as per usual but Kate more aggressive, throwing some occasional hooks that almost land. Meghan still too fresh to fall for those big guns, making Kate pay with straight counter-punches sent into her tummy and chin, just as she’s at the cusp of getting her mojo back. But the princess underestimates the amount of anger in the baser levels of society, allows Beckinsale to get in a little too close for comfort, Kate seizing the chance, scarring the guard with another combo of hooks sent screaming in to forearms, wobbling Markle precariously. Meghan can’t stop the music when another a quick pair of jabs scrap against her chin and mouth, dazing her further. She tries to force a hasty retreat, but Kate’s stamina suddenly in overdrive, chugging after. Meghan finding herself trapped on the ropes as her body packed in by repeat blows left and right, Beckinsale planting her flag deep into the belly and McCarthy screaming from ringside about how Brit girls all suck ass at the end of the day. But bell rings before Markle can capitulate, hunched over the ropes and supporting herself gingerly, as Kate strides back to corner victorious for once.
ROUND 4:
‘Fall of the British crown’ might very well be the headline in tomorrow’s paper - Meghan suddenly finding herself hanging onto her dignity for dear life. No telling who’s watching or what will happen to the newest family member if she were to go down in a ball of flames, however. Well, at least she’d be crashing and burning against a fellow Brit, and not an uncultured yankee. Kate with none of that what-ifs on her mind - to her, she just wants to get back into the winning circuit. Hounding Markle about the ring for the good part of first few minutes, she lands a hook off Meghan’s shoulders and then digging a glove into her side and buffeting poor Markle around. Meghan trying to get out of the power-Brit’s range in order to avoid a knockout blow, but the last two shots to the body really stunned her to the spot, allowing Kate to follow through with a THIRD hook to the cheek - this time it FLOORS your royal highness, sending her crashing down to the ground in humiliation! KNOCKDOWN for Kate Beckinsale, all you blokes!
Hells bells, is this it already?! Kate standing astride, triumphant, belly pulsing in and out. But Meghan still alive, there’s no doubt, crawling her way to the ropes for support and pure shock on her face throughout.
“STAY DOWN, PRINCESS,” is Beckinsale’s taunting from across the ring, though Markle has little intention of complying. Show of spirit as she rises slowly back up to her feet, the potential fear of embarrassment from her new family simply overpowering the fear of loss itself. Beckinsale gritting her teeth as this fight continues without her consent. The queen is not used to being defied in this manner, but seems to have little choice. Kate taking this round for herself but fails to secure a decisive win before the fifth.
ROUND 5:
Kate trying to do what she couldn't earlier: pushing herself forward towards Markle, but her age is starting to show with her stamina leaving much to be desired. Markle cautious in the beginning, wary of getting a repeat taste of a knockdown, but soon realizes she’s the one holding the cards. Stamp of her feet forward and Beckinsale grunting, on the return salvo from repeat shots into her guard and body. Meghan using her relative youth and energy to seize the round back from her clutches. Kate with an Amazonian cry at the end of the round, however, trying to rally for one last push, surprising Markle with a hook that lands on side of her head and another spanks off the tummy, but it’s too little, too late - could this be resurgence from either lady, or just the loud death throes of a dying queen?
ROUND 6:
Perhaps fighting two bouts in the span of two weeks *would* certainly take a toll on anyone, least of all someone who’s 45 years old and counting. Kate turning pale by as we enter the second half, quite literally getting the cold shivers as her tank runs on empty. Referee repeatedly asking her if she can continue, and she defiantly asks him to get stuffed. Meghan no such compassion as she strides forward to meet her, taking her time dismantling the Brit’s defences. Jab jab jab to the face and cheek go unanswered, Beckinsale just being bullied across the ring and back, and offering little resistance. Final combination of hooks slam into her guard and completely blow her arms apart in shock and surprise, leaving her open for a nasty right hand that CRASHES into the side of her face. And DOWN Beckinsale goes!! The one and only SLAIN in the last minute of the sixth round! That's all she wrote, folks!
Official Decision: Meghan Markle defeats Kate Beckinsale via KO6!
AFTER:
Markle with a triumphant smile as she parades around Kate’s prone body, arms in the air and a mixture of relief and satisfaction on her face. McCarthy seen on her feet as well, leaping up and rapidly applauding once the decision became final. She shrieks, “THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE, LADIES!”
Kate lying flat in her back, too spent to even more her arms and legs, but chest steadily rising and falling and eyes squeezed shut. Markle elicits a moan from her lips as her hair is tugged upwards by Meghan. Don't worry though - none of that embarrassing action here by the royal house. Meghan simply posing for the cameras, pulling Kate’s stunned face close to her own and offering some choice words only meant for her hissed into her ear.
Later, she speaks to reporters: “The *real* royal has arrived, ladies and gents. Kate can run her mouth all she wants, but I expect her to bow down to me at the end of the day, like any good little British peasant girl would,” Markle beaming with contempt before turning to head back up the ramp.
Beckinsale hopefully lives to fight another day, but it’s undeniable her past glory is just that - a memory of the past, just like those of the venue we’re in for tonight.
Well, that concludes our event tonight! We hope you’ve enjoyed VIX: Tea Party at the Boston Garden. See you soon, chaps!
Kate:
(44, 5’7, 42:28:3 FCBA, Empire Boxing)
Meghan:
(37, 5’7, 9:8 FCBA, Free Agent)
BEFORE:
Kate being dismissive of the newest princess immediately, proudly declaring, “Well, she ain’t *my* princess!” when reporters ask her how she feels about punching a member of the royal family’s face in. To be honest, we hadn't even considered whether this fight might be skirting British law in more ways than one - pretty sure that assaulting a member of the British crown might throw you in jail in real life...
Meghan Markle however taking it in her stride as she comes out from backstage with a wave/flick of her wrist. She’s been practising that queenly greeting, that's for sure.
“I hereby pardon Kate for all future offenses, *including* assault and battery…” Markle saying to reporters. “If I win of course,” the gorgeous brunette laughing along with the audience, although we wonder whether she’s half serious or joking.
Obviously, Beckinsale not amused, the fiery cougar shouting back: “Shut up, princess! I don't need permission to bash your face in!”
Heated confrontation as a result at the podium as both women come face-to-face. Kate Beckinsale in a royal blue bikini and white gloves, whereas Meghan going for something more conservative in a black sports bra and gym shorts.
By ring-side, a late addition to the three-way drama: Jenny McCarthy with some follow-up taunting, lounging in her first row seat whilst heckling Kate as she ascends the ring steps: “English Crumpet!” “You’re eating humble pie tonight!” and our personal favourite, “Get stuffed, Becks!” not doing much to elaborate on her previous comments on the forums.
Beckinsale obviously trying to filter everything out, giving the blonde the cold shoulder. Markle however grinning to herself at the other corner. Rumour has it she’s been secretly getting coaching lessons from McCarthy behind the scenes. Surely, she’s picked up some Kate-slaying tactics from the bombshell to use tonight? Referee makes ready for this main-event of the evening and here we go with ten rounds of Bantamweight action!
ROUND 1:
Both girls gallop out at a fast pace, immediately punching in the direction of the head. Meghan looking focused, keeping her face hidden behind her gloves and snagging Beckinsale on the face multiple times, knocking leather into her nostrils and stunning her as a result. Crowd cheering each time this happens, like royalty teaching a commoner some manners, and truth be told, Markle having difficulty hiding her own elation, each successful jab landing on Kate’s face resulting in a bigger and wider smile on the princess’ own. Beckinsale getting outboxed by relative speed and youthfulness, but manages to rally in the last minute by hanging back and taking choice body blows into either of Meghan’s sides, dissuading her from following through all the way. Opening round goes to the princess overall though, with Kate cursing to herself at having been taken advantage of so easily.
ROUND 2:
Perhaps it’s the fact that this is Kate Beckinsale we’re talking about - at 44 years of age and still trying to push her luck in the ring? The girl still has a body to die for but it’s not exactly running in optimal conditioning. Meghan just blazing forward by comparison, keeping up the pressure with frenzied combinations to the guard, trying to overwhelm the older woman early. Kate having none of that, however, grunting not from the punches landing but more from pushing her own body to extreme: pivoting this way and that, then FORCING a right hand straight down the middle sending it CRASHING into Meghan’s face! OUCH. THAT’S GOTTA HURT! Meghan seeing stars as she shakes the pain away, that smirk completely gone. Now it’s her turn to fend off the advances! Kate taking her time, catching her breath but at the same time with steady jab jab jab at Meghan’s body and head, treating her to the same peasantry show. A wide round swings back into Beckinsale’s favour, re-establishing herself as the true monarch of the ring (damned if whatever McCarthy might have to say about that…)
ROUND 3:
Markle looking hurt, red-faced as she plays it cautious in the third. The two of them circle as per usual but Kate more aggressive, throwing some occasional hooks that almost land. Meghan still too fresh to fall for those big guns, making Kate pay with straight counter-punches sent into her tummy and chin, just as she’s at the cusp of getting her mojo back. But the princess underestimates the amount of anger in the baser levels of society, allows Beckinsale to get in a little too close for comfort, Kate seizing the chance, scarring the guard with another combo of hooks sent screaming in to forearms, wobbling Markle precariously. Meghan can’t stop the music when another a quick pair of jabs scrap against her chin and mouth, dazing her further. She tries to force a hasty retreat, but Kate’s stamina suddenly in overdrive, chugging after. Meghan finding herself trapped on the ropes as her body packed in by repeat blows left and right, Beckinsale planting her flag deep into the belly and McCarthy screaming from ringside about how Brit girls all suck ass at the end of the day. But bell rings before Markle can capitulate, hunched over the ropes and supporting herself gingerly, as Kate strides back to corner victorious for once.
ROUND 4:
‘Fall of the British crown’ might very well be the headline in tomorrow’s paper - Meghan suddenly finding herself hanging onto her dignity for dear life. No telling who’s watching or what will happen to the newest family member if she were to go down in a ball of flames, however. Well, at least she’d be crashing and burning against a fellow Brit, and not an uncultured yankee. Kate with none of that what-ifs on her mind - to her, she just wants to get back into the winning circuit. Hounding Markle about the ring for the good part of first few minutes, she lands a hook off Meghan’s shoulders and then digging a glove into her side and buffeting poor Markle around. Meghan trying to get out of the power-Brit’s range in order to avoid a knockout blow, but the last two shots to the body really stunned her to the spot, allowing Kate to follow through with a THIRD hook to the cheek - this time it FLOORS your royal highness, sending her crashing down to the ground in humiliation! KNOCKDOWN for Kate Beckinsale, all you blokes!
Hells bells, is this it already?! Kate standing astride, triumphant, belly pulsing in and out. But Meghan still alive, there’s no doubt, crawling her way to the ropes for support and pure shock on her face throughout.
“STAY DOWN, PRINCESS,” is Beckinsale’s taunting from across the ring, though Markle has little intention of complying. Show of spirit as she rises slowly back up to her feet, the potential fear of embarrassment from her new family simply overpowering the fear of loss itself. Beckinsale gritting her teeth as this fight continues without her consent. The queen is not used to being defied in this manner, but seems to have little choice. Kate taking this round for herself but fails to secure a decisive win before the fifth.
ROUND 5:
Kate trying to do what she couldn't earlier: pushing herself forward towards Markle, but her age is starting to show with her stamina leaving much to be desired. Markle cautious in the beginning, wary of getting a repeat taste of a knockdown, but soon realizes she’s the one holding the cards. Stamp of her feet forward and Beckinsale grunting, on the return salvo from repeat shots into her guard and body. Meghan using her relative youth and energy to seize the round back from her clutches. Kate with an Amazonian cry at the end of the round, however, trying to rally for one last push, surprising Markle with a hook that lands on side of her head and another spanks off the tummy, but it’s too little, too late - could this be resurgence from either lady, or just the loud death throes of a dying queen?
ROUND 6:
Perhaps fighting two bouts in the span of two weeks *would* certainly take a toll on anyone, least of all someone who’s 45 years old and counting. Kate turning pale by as we enter the second half, quite literally getting the cold shivers as her tank runs on empty. Referee repeatedly asking her if she can continue, and she defiantly asks him to get stuffed. Meghan no such compassion as she strides forward to meet her, taking her time dismantling the Brit’s defences. Jab jab jab to the face and cheek go unanswered, Beckinsale just being bullied across the ring and back, and offering little resistance. Final combination of hooks slam into her guard and completely blow her arms apart in shock and surprise, leaving her open for a nasty right hand that CRASHES into the side of her face. And DOWN Beckinsale goes!! The one and only SLAIN in the last minute of the sixth round! That's all she wrote, folks!
Official Decision: Meghan Markle defeats Kate Beckinsale via KO6!
AFTER:
Markle with a triumphant smile as she parades around Kate’s prone body, arms in the air and a mixture of relief and satisfaction on her face. McCarthy seen on her feet as well, leaping up and rapidly applauding once the decision became final. She shrieks, “THAT’S HOW IT’S DONE, LADIES!”
Kate lying flat in her back, too spent to even more her arms and legs, but chest steadily rising and falling and eyes squeezed shut. Markle elicits a moan from her lips as her hair is tugged upwards by Meghan. Don't worry though - none of that embarrassing action here by the royal house. Meghan simply posing for the cameras, pulling Kate’s stunned face close to her own and offering some choice words only meant for her hissed into her ear.
Later, she speaks to reporters: “The *real* royal has arrived, ladies and gents. Kate can run her mouth all she wants, but I expect her to bow down to me at the end of the day, like any good little British peasant girl would,” Markle beaming with contempt before turning to head back up the ramp.
Beckinsale hopefully lives to fight another day, but it’s undeniable her past glory is just that - a memory of the past, just like those of the venue we’re in for tonight.
Well, that concludes our event tonight! We hope you’ve enjoyed VIX: Tea Party at the Boston Garden. See you soon, chaps!