Post by Lookout! Boxing on Mar 3, 2018 0:26:54 GMT -6
Charlize Theron vs Joanna Krupa (result: Lookout/writing: simgrrl)
(Theron: 42yo, 5'10", 122# 244-111-12) vs (Krupa: yo 5'7", 110-130#, 8-9-0)
Before: From the record, it doesn't look like Krupa belongs in the same ring with Theron, who has had almost as many draws in her career as Krupa's had fights. But records can, and often are, deceiving. Another statistic that MAY bring light to bear on the comparison is that Joanna is only 4 years younger than Charlize, so unless all those fights have taken a lot out of Theron, she has had a lot more experience over a comparable time period. (In other words, Krupa's no youngster taking on an old GOAT; she's just an inexperienced old goat taking on THE GOAT!
Of course, more than 350 fights COULD have seriously degraded Theron's physical, and mental, abilities - while Krupa was keeping herself in tip-top shape and may be, only now, reaching her physical and mental peak! There's only one way to find out and that's to wait for the bell. Krupa's admitted a weight problem that has seen her fluctuate between a waifish 110# and a welterish 130#. For this fight, she weighed in at 125# - just above the mid-way point with a nicely toned flat stomach, round hips and beautiful butt cheeks! She says she's never been in better shape and who are we to deny it!
One thing she and Theron have in common is their animal rights activism, which will - hopefully - provide grounds to avoid any unpleasantness both during and after the fight. Both blondes in similarly stylish bikini's; Theron in white with white gloves and bare feet; Krupa's in red with matching gloves and shoes. Referee for the fight is stylishly decked out in a traditional man-tailored black and white striped shirt with black slacks and shoes.
Celebrities at ringside include Yvonne Strahovski, Emily Ratajkowski, Linda Kozlowski, Jane Krakowski, Sandra Kubicka, Monika Pietrasinska, Monika Jagaciak, and Leelee Sobieski - all of whom were Yvonne Strahovski's guests last night at a traditional Polish kielbasa and roasted potato in vodka sauce prefight dinner to show support for a fellow Pole. Attendance was larger than expected despite the fact that several have faced - and lost to - Joanna themselves. Still, they wanted to show their solidarity and there are no hard feelings. After dinner, Strahovski raised a glass to toast Joanna's success while placing a Polish curse on Theron (something about 'big ass' and 'small tits' if Google Translate can be trusted!)
[ed., Google should NOT be trusted to translate ancient Polish curses!]
During R1: Theron out looking every inch a veteran facing an over-matched opponent, taking control in the opening seconds and never lifting her foot! In the first minute, Charlize landed six "power shots" to none for Krupa. Joanna spent the opening two minutes in retreat under a hail of leather thrown by the many time champion but despite her success, Theron couldn't get Krupa off her feet.
Joanna seemed to be settling in late in the round, but that was until Theron again connected with a combination left hook-right cross that buckled Krupa's knees and had her hanging on at the bell. In a dominant opening round, Theron takes the points by a (wide) margin!
R2: Krupa, buoyed by the Polish chanting from her fan club sitting in the first three rows of seats near her corner, settled down and came out looking more like the woman who KOed some "big name" fighters (Candice Swanepoel, Olga Kurylenko, Emily Ratajkowski, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and Elisabetta Canalis) - all with 12 or more letters! Theron opened as she closed the first, with a combination that rattled Krupa. But Joanna steadied to answer with two rights of her own that seemed to hurt the taller blond. Krupa keeping the pressure on Charlize into the middle part of the fight. Halfway into the round, both women flash some defense; each blocking then countering on successive exchanges but with Krupa getting very slightly the better of both. Again in the closing minute, however, Theron again ups her work rate, taking the fight to Joanna and leaving the judges with a positive impression at the bell. But despite Charlize' best effort, Joanna ekes out a single point margin in the points (close).
R3: Theron's corner working on her swollen left eye - we'll have to keep an eye on that as the fight moves along. Off the bell, Charlize again in attack mode, throwing - and landing - with whiplash lefts and rib rattling rights as she slams Joanna backward across the width of the ring to stack her on the ropes right above the Polish cheering section. The chant of DUMA POLSKA! DUMA POLSKA! DUMA POLSKA! (Polish pride!) echos in Joanna's ears and spurs her into fighting her way off the ropes behind a cracking right to the side of Theron's face that buckles her knees!
Joanna gathers Charlize up under the arms as she tries to clinch, and then pushes her on tippy-toe back out to the middle of the ring in a show of brute power unseen in this ring since the steroid era of celebrity boxing! Krupa can't keep it up, however, and as her punching power wanes, Charlize gets her second wind and they again hammer away toe-to-toe to the bell. Krupa whirls around, arms raised and struts to her corner while Theron trudges back to her stool breathing hard, and so it's no surprise that Joanna wins round on points (close)!
R4: Theron's corner still worrying about that eye which is half-closed now. Plenty of cold applied, but so far Charlize seems the least worried of anyone and she's standing before the bell, brushing away a last-second attempt to keep applying "stuff" to her eye. Referee checks it and approves so she comes out at the bell.
Krupa looking to continue her attack of the previous round, but Theron has other plans and she's able to impose her will after an even opening minute where both women threw everything but the kitchen sink at each other with little to show for it but aching ribs, and in Krupa's case, a ringing in her left ear after a hard right hand by Theron.
Krupa looking to anticipate Charlize, opens up in the closing minute with a flurry of crisp punching that enables her to take some territory from Theron; but she can't hold onto her gain as Charlize once more is able to leave the judges with a good impression as she lands a hard left hook to send a shimmy down Krupa's legs just before the bell, then a little shoulder nudge puts the unbalanced Joanna back into the ropes in what some may have seen as the after effects of that punch. Veteran manages to win the points, but her corner must be getting worried as the margin this round, as was the previous three, is much closer than they'd like.
R5: Krupa making a big adjustment between rounds, coming out lefty(!) and throwing hard shots with both hands. Charlize rocked in twice in thirty seconds, forced to clinch and as they dance around, Joanna's tattooing Theron's leftside ribs with evil intent! As Charlize pushes her off, Krupa flashes the right over Theron's extended arms and BAAM! catches her flush on the left side of the jaw. Golden Goddesses lithe legs buckle and she sits down - hard - her head bouncing on her shoulders as her butt hits the canvas and she leans back onto the ropes. Joanna as surprised as Charlize at the knockdown, hesitates a moment to take in the sight before jogging to the opposite corner while Charlize paws at the ropes and struggles to her feet, beating the count by a couple of seconds. She looks both shocked and dismayed as the referee checks her, and her gloves, then waves Joanna back over.
Theron backing up behind a high guard; Krupa coming straight in to finish her off. Tall blonde in a low crouch; elbows tucked in; gloves at her cheeks; shoulders bobbing up and down; head moving left and right - not giving Krupa a stationary target. Joanna rushing a bit, unleashing flurries of punches on the move, not planting to set her feet. Several of her punches land clean, but without the power behind them to do damage. Charlize weathers the storm and comes through it with relatively little additional damage.
Joanna stubborn - you have to give her that. Where many would back off; give an opponent the opportunity to collect her wits, Krupa keeps an unrelenting pressure on Charlize; never giving her a moments peace. Late in the round, Krupa's in one of her punching flurries when Theron turns into a short right that catches Joanna on the point of the chin! Krupa walks right thru the punch, throws a straight right and then just drops to her knees, swaying unsteadily back and forth on her haunches!
Charlize, in mid-swing pulls off at the last second as she realizes Krupa is going down from her punch. The referee arrives to wrap up Charlize and pull her away, but he would've been too late if she hadn't stopped herself when he had to step around Krupa to get to her. Charlize understands; doesn't seem to mind his handful of her left breast as he pushes and pulls her to a corner before going back to pick up the count from the timekeeper.
Luckily for Krupa, the bell rings when the count is at six; her still on her knees, not showing any signs of being able to beat the count. Big round for Krupa turned around with one punch to become another close round for Charlize Theron. The big question is - will Krupa even answer the bell for the sixth?
R6: Krupa clearly not herself when she leaves her corner for the sixth, but her trainers - and the referee - agree she's able to defend herself. Charlize likely would have said stop the fight - if not during the break, then after the first minute when Joanna hit her twice with hard left hooks!! Still, she could see an opening that Krupa probably didn't know she was giving her, not until the second before Charlize's right hand SMASHED into Joanna's left cheek and turned out her lights! Krupa dove facefirst to the canvas, her head bouncing grotesquely off the mat as her limp body cratered in!
Theron stepped over Joanna's legs and walked slowly and resolutely to the farthest corner; taking her time, secure in the the knowledge Joanna Krupa wasn't going to get up... not this time.
The referee tolls the ten count; the exclamation mark on the conclusion of this contest and Charlize Theron's KO in minute 2 of the sixth round puts her win by a KO6 in the books! The G.O.A.T. apparently still has "it" - whatever "it" is!
After: As Joanna is being helped from the ring by her handlers, the "Polish Brigade" gathers at ringside to cheer her, give her pats on the back - or the butt in Strahovski's case - and assure her of their continued support. When Yvonne turns to look back at the ring, she sees Charlize turning her back to her, then bend over and slap herself on the butt.
"You and your Polish curse can kiss THIS!" Theron screams at Strahovski, her face red with anger.
Yvonne has to be grabbed and pulled back down off the ring apron by several of her Polish friends when she tries to climb into the ring to - in all likelihood - do a lot more to it than KISS Charlize Theron's backside!
Later, at her press conference, Charlize laughs off several pointed questions about what happened between her and Yvonne. "It's just more of the same," Charlize finally said, giving the press some 'red meat' they can run with. "She's jealous of my successful my film career, and..." she smiled as she seemingly unconsciously and subtly cupped her hands under her perky breasts, "...that my assets are so much bigger, and better, than hers." Then grinning she added, "But I don't want to get into that," laughing so everyone would think she was kidding - instead of deadly serious about her the often vitriolic and long-standing rivalry between herself and the awesome Aussie beauty.
"I don't want Stra-hot-stuff's antics at ringside to take the public's attention away from Joanna's outstanding job," Theron offered magnanimously, while blaming Yvonne. "Although it wouldn't be fair if I didn't point out Joanna twice fought 'Yvonne Stra-hot-n-bothered' and both times Krupa dominated the Aussie's arse. Oh, sure, Krupa lost, but it took 'Strut-er-stuffski SEVEN ROUNDS both times to finally put her away. I did it tonight in SIX!!!"
Krupa, the left side of her face swollen where Theron's right found a home several times, was unwilling to concede she's not in Theron's class but admitted, "Tonight I lost to a better fighter, no denying that."
When asked how she thought Theron-Strahovski might have gone if Yvonne had made it into the ring, Joanna tried to stay loyal to her erstwhile fan and supporter. "It's hard to answer a hypothetical," she demurred. "Yvonne was wearing street clothes, an expensive pencil skirt that molded itself to her perfect butt and thighs. It's impossible to fight in that - unless she ripped it off," she offered a graphic image every reporter of either sex could see in their minds eye, "it would have made moving around quite difficult.
"I'd given Theron some good solid blows, so she wouldn't have been at her best either. If I had to pick though, I would say Yvonne could have taken her - if only because 'Vonnie would be fighting bare knuckle and Theron's fists were wrapped - plus Charlize had gone six hard rounds with a very tough opponent," she added with a self-congratulatory smirk.
"But I WILL be there for their next fight...whether it's in a ring, or a bar in Australia, or a dingy night club in L.A., or New York... why even a gym... Wherever they bump into one another - and can't wait to get busy - I want to be there to see it... especially if it's free and I don't have to buy a ticket," she joked(?)
* * * END * * *
(Theron: 42yo, 5'10", 122# 244-111-12) vs (Krupa: yo 5'7", 110-130#, 8-9-0)
Before: From the record, it doesn't look like Krupa belongs in the same ring with Theron, who has had almost as many draws in her career as Krupa's had fights. But records can, and often are, deceiving. Another statistic that MAY bring light to bear on the comparison is that Joanna is only 4 years younger than Charlize, so unless all those fights have taken a lot out of Theron, she has had a lot more experience over a comparable time period. (In other words, Krupa's no youngster taking on an old GOAT; she's just an inexperienced old goat taking on THE GOAT!
Of course, more than 350 fights COULD have seriously degraded Theron's physical, and mental, abilities - while Krupa was keeping herself in tip-top shape and may be, only now, reaching her physical and mental peak! There's only one way to find out and that's to wait for the bell. Krupa's admitted a weight problem that has seen her fluctuate between a waifish 110# and a welterish 130#. For this fight, she weighed in at 125# - just above the mid-way point with a nicely toned flat stomach, round hips and beautiful butt cheeks! She says she's never been in better shape and who are we to deny it!
One thing she and Theron have in common is their animal rights activism, which will - hopefully - provide grounds to avoid any unpleasantness both during and after the fight. Both blondes in similarly stylish bikini's; Theron in white with white gloves and bare feet; Krupa's in red with matching gloves and shoes. Referee for the fight is stylishly decked out in a traditional man-tailored black and white striped shirt with black slacks and shoes.
Celebrities at ringside include Yvonne Strahovski, Emily Ratajkowski, Linda Kozlowski, Jane Krakowski, Sandra Kubicka, Monika Pietrasinska, Monika Jagaciak, and Leelee Sobieski - all of whom were Yvonne Strahovski's guests last night at a traditional Polish kielbasa and roasted potato in vodka sauce prefight dinner to show support for a fellow Pole. Attendance was larger than expected despite the fact that several have faced - and lost to - Joanna themselves. Still, they wanted to show their solidarity and there are no hard feelings. After dinner, Strahovski raised a glass to toast Joanna's success while placing a Polish curse on Theron (something about 'big ass' and 'small tits' if Google Translate can be trusted!)
[ed., Google should NOT be trusted to translate ancient Polish curses!]
During R1: Theron out looking every inch a veteran facing an over-matched opponent, taking control in the opening seconds and never lifting her foot! In the first minute, Charlize landed six "power shots" to none for Krupa. Joanna spent the opening two minutes in retreat under a hail of leather thrown by the many time champion but despite her success, Theron couldn't get Krupa off her feet.
Joanna seemed to be settling in late in the round, but that was until Theron again connected with a combination left hook-right cross that buckled Krupa's knees and had her hanging on at the bell. In a dominant opening round, Theron takes the points by a (wide) margin!
R2: Krupa, buoyed by the Polish chanting from her fan club sitting in the first three rows of seats near her corner, settled down and came out looking more like the woman who KOed some "big name" fighters (Candice Swanepoel, Olga Kurylenko, Emily Ratajkowski, Rosie Huntington-Whiteley, and Elisabetta Canalis) - all with 12 or more letters! Theron opened as she closed the first, with a combination that rattled Krupa. But Joanna steadied to answer with two rights of her own that seemed to hurt the taller blond. Krupa keeping the pressure on Charlize into the middle part of the fight. Halfway into the round, both women flash some defense; each blocking then countering on successive exchanges but with Krupa getting very slightly the better of both. Again in the closing minute, however, Theron again ups her work rate, taking the fight to Joanna and leaving the judges with a positive impression at the bell. But despite Charlize' best effort, Joanna ekes out a single point margin in the points (close).
R3: Theron's corner working on her swollen left eye - we'll have to keep an eye on that as the fight moves along. Off the bell, Charlize again in attack mode, throwing - and landing - with whiplash lefts and rib rattling rights as she slams Joanna backward across the width of the ring to stack her on the ropes right above the Polish cheering section. The chant of DUMA POLSKA! DUMA POLSKA! DUMA POLSKA! (Polish pride!) echos in Joanna's ears and spurs her into fighting her way off the ropes behind a cracking right to the side of Theron's face that buckles her knees!
Joanna gathers Charlize up under the arms as she tries to clinch, and then pushes her on tippy-toe back out to the middle of the ring in a show of brute power unseen in this ring since the steroid era of celebrity boxing! Krupa can't keep it up, however, and as her punching power wanes, Charlize gets her second wind and they again hammer away toe-to-toe to the bell. Krupa whirls around, arms raised and struts to her corner while Theron trudges back to her stool breathing hard, and so it's no surprise that Joanna wins round on points (close)!
R4: Theron's corner still worrying about that eye which is half-closed now. Plenty of cold applied, but so far Charlize seems the least worried of anyone and she's standing before the bell, brushing away a last-second attempt to keep applying "stuff" to her eye. Referee checks it and approves so she comes out at the bell.
Krupa looking to continue her attack of the previous round, but Theron has other plans and she's able to impose her will after an even opening minute where both women threw everything but the kitchen sink at each other with little to show for it but aching ribs, and in Krupa's case, a ringing in her left ear after a hard right hand by Theron.
Krupa looking to anticipate Charlize, opens up in the closing minute with a flurry of crisp punching that enables her to take some territory from Theron; but she can't hold onto her gain as Charlize once more is able to leave the judges with a good impression as she lands a hard left hook to send a shimmy down Krupa's legs just before the bell, then a little shoulder nudge puts the unbalanced Joanna back into the ropes in what some may have seen as the after effects of that punch. Veteran manages to win the points, but her corner must be getting worried as the margin this round, as was the previous three, is much closer than they'd like.
R5: Krupa making a big adjustment between rounds, coming out lefty(!) and throwing hard shots with both hands. Charlize rocked in twice in thirty seconds, forced to clinch and as they dance around, Joanna's tattooing Theron's leftside ribs with evil intent! As Charlize pushes her off, Krupa flashes the right over Theron's extended arms and BAAM! catches her flush on the left side of the jaw. Golden Goddesses lithe legs buckle and she sits down - hard - her head bouncing on her shoulders as her butt hits the canvas and she leans back onto the ropes. Joanna as surprised as Charlize at the knockdown, hesitates a moment to take in the sight before jogging to the opposite corner while Charlize paws at the ropes and struggles to her feet, beating the count by a couple of seconds. She looks both shocked and dismayed as the referee checks her, and her gloves, then waves Joanna back over.
Theron backing up behind a high guard; Krupa coming straight in to finish her off. Tall blonde in a low crouch; elbows tucked in; gloves at her cheeks; shoulders bobbing up and down; head moving left and right - not giving Krupa a stationary target. Joanna rushing a bit, unleashing flurries of punches on the move, not planting to set her feet. Several of her punches land clean, but without the power behind them to do damage. Charlize weathers the storm and comes through it with relatively little additional damage.
Joanna stubborn - you have to give her that. Where many would back off; give an opponent the opportunity to collect her wits, Krupa keeps an unrelenting pressure on Charlize; never giving her a moments peace. Late in the round, Krupa's in one of her punching flurries when Theron turns into a short right that catches Joanna on the point of the chin! Krupa walks right thru the punch, throws a straight right and then just drops to her knees, swaying unsteadily back and forth on her haunches!
Charlize, in mid-swing pulls off at the last second as she realizes Krupa is going down from her punch. The referee arrives to wrap up Charlize and pull her away, but he would've been too late if she hadn't stopped herself when he had to step around Krupa to get to her. Charlize understands; doesn't seem to mind his handful of her left breast as he pushes and pulls her to a corner before going back to pick up the count from the timekeeper.
Luckily for Krupa, the bell rings when the count is at six; her still on her knees, not showing any signs of being able to beat the count. Big round for Krupa turned around with one punch to become another close round for Charlize Theron. The big question is - will Krupa even answer the bell for the sixth?
R6: Krupa clearly not herself when she leaves her corner for the sixth, but her trainers - and the referee - agree she's able to defend herself. Charlize likely would have said stop the fight - if not during the break, then after the first minute when Joanna hit her twice with hard left hooks!! Still, she could see an opening that Krupa probably didn't know she was giving her, not until the second before Charlize's right hand SMASHED into Joanna's left cheek and turned out her lights! Krupa dove facefirst to the canvas, her head bouncing grotesquely off the mat as her limp body cratered in!
Theron stepped over Joanna's legs and walked slowly and resolutely to the farthest corner; taking her time, secure in the the knowledge Joanna Krupa wasn't going to get up... not this time.
The referee tolls the ten count; the exclamation mark on the conclusion of this contest and Charlize Theron's KO in minute 2 of the sixth round puts her win by a KO6 in the books! The G.O.A.T. apparently still has "it" - whatever "it" is!
After: As Joanna is being helped from the ring by her handlers, the "Polish Brigade" gathers at ringside to cheer her, give her pats on the back - or the butt in Strahovski's case - and assure her of their continued support. When Yvonne turns to look back at the ring, she sees Charlize turning her back to her, then bend over and slap herself on the butt.
"You and your Polish curse can kiss THIS!" Theron screams at Strahovski, her face red with anger.
Yvonne has to be grabbed and pulled back down off the ring apron by several of her Polish friends when she tries to climb into the ring to - in all likelihood - do a lot more to it than KISS Charlize Theron's backside!
Later, at her press conference, Charlize laughs off several pointed questions about what happened between her and Yvonne. "It's just more of the same," Charlize finally said, giving the press some 'red meat' they can run with. "She's jealous of my successful my film career, and..." she smiled as she seemingly unconsciously and subtly cupped her hands under her perky breasts, "...that my assets are so much bigger, and better, than hers." Then grinning she added, "But I don't want to get into that," laughing so everyone would think she was kidding - instead of deadly serious about her the often vitriolic and long-standing rivalry between herself and the awesome Aussie beauty.
"I don't want Stra-hot-stuff's antics at ringside to take the public's attention away from Joanna's outstanding job," Theron offered magnanimously, while blaming Yvonne. "Although it wouldn't be fair if I didn't point out Joanna twice fought 'Yvonne Stra-hot-n-bothered' and both times Krupa dominated the Aussie's arse. Oh, sure, Krupa lost, but it took 'Strut-er-stuffski SEVEN ROUNDS both times to finally put her away. I did it tonight in SIX!!!"
Krupa, the left side of her face swollen where Theron's right found a home several times, was unwilling to concede she's not in Theron's class but admitted, "Tonight I lost to a better fighter, no denying that."
When asked how she thought Theron-Strahovski might have gone if Yvonne had made it into the ring, Joanna tried to stay loyal to her erstwhile fan and supporter. "It's hard to answer a hypothetical," she demurred. "Yvonne was wearing street clothes, an expensive pencil skirt that molded itself to her perfect butt and thighs. It's impossible to fight in that - unless she ripped it off," she offered a graphic image every reporter of either sex could see in their minds eye, "it would have made moving around quite difficult.
"I'd given Theron some good solid blows, so she wouldn't have been at her best either. If I had to pick though, I would say Yvonne could have taken her - if only because 'Vonnie would be fighting bare knuckle and Theron's fists were wrapped - plus Charlize had gone six hard rounds with a very tough opponent," she added with a self-congratulatory smirk.
"But I WILL be there for their next fight...whether it's in a ring, or a bar in Australia, or a dingy night club in L.A., or New York... why even a gym... Wherever they bump into one another - and can't wait to get busy - I want to be there to see it... especially if it's free and I don't have to buy a ticket," she joked(?)
* * * END * * *
