Miley Cyrus vs Cheryl Cole

Miley Cyrus vs Cheryl Cole
(Beever's Babes USA vs Lioness Club)
(12-15, 9 KO vs 19-3, 19 KO)
Results: Lookout!; Story: Vassago

BEFORE: Miley Cyrus has had a very quiet 2017 season with a lone loss to Lily Collins marking her only activity but the controversial singer intends to crash down on Cheryl Cole in full force tonight. Since the Geordie singer isn't exactly known for her manners in the ring either, this fight can get out of hand fast and the introductions offer a sneak preview of things to come. Both girls refuse to touch gloves and shout verbal abuse at each other with Miley taking extra pleasure in mocking Cheryl's notorious accent.

Miley Cyrus wears a pink bikini top, black hotpants and white gloves. Long dyed blonde hair in loose waves. Cheryl Cole wears a black bikini top, leopard print knickers and black gloves. Long dark brown hair tied in a half-up ponytail. The fight is scheduled for ten rounds in the flyweight division.

Round 1:
Both girls jump into a trigger-happy mode and dish out heavy punishment from the word go. Miley owns the slightly superior reach and it shows as she smacks Cheryl's lips repeatedly while just avoiding a similar response from the Brit. However Cheryl's intensity allows her to eventually match the American's production and the crowd enjoys a proper flyweight bash during the second minute with neither woman ready to yield a proverbial inch. This being said, Miley runs out of gas first, the high-tempo swinging makes her a little tired down the stretch and she struggles to work around the brunette's footwork which in turn allows Cole to land some crisp cross hooks before a nasty uppercut swivels Cyrus' head and drops her to the ropes. Another wild swing finds the temple and Cheryl is unfortunate to see the bell halt her progress in the dying moments of the round.

Round 2:
Another aggressive leather bash has Miley on top, she drills Cheryl's lips in close range and despite soaking up some visible bruises, the Geordie singer refuses to back off and steers her shots up the blonde's alley. The body assault is a promising change while losing the battle upstairs but Cyrus really shows some juice and tears a gash under Cole's right eye during a frantic close range dispute. Only this wound makes the tourist think better off it however she's too slow to escape another hooking approach and Miley pounds the brunette back to the ropes where she cleans out her midsection to run away with the scorecards.

Round 3:
Cheryl understands she's not going to bully the American into a constant retreat - despite Miley's questionable overall record - and she finds just enough pace to beat the blonde for the overhand swing and camps inside her face in another close range dust-up. Cyrus hauls in single strikes herself but loses the outright exchange by numbers; she tries to pierce the brunette's solar plexus but the body assault bounces off the forearms and Cole inflicts a gash on the blonde's face with a left/right combo that folds Cyrus behind a high earmuff thereafter. Cole has enough strenght to thump the younger singer butt-in-ropes come the final minute and another tackling series to the guts keeps Miley wrapped under pressure all the way until the bell. She doesn't even try to punch herself out the dangerous position and most of the fans reckon that's down to the blood now seeping from the cut above the right eye that might affect her vision.

Round 4:
Cheryl believes she's broken the blonde's resilience with that wound but misjudges Miley's competitive spirit and gets half-spun to the side when she eats a vicious left cross that bounces off the top of her gloves and straight into her nose. A furious close range dispute ensues - what else is new? - but Miley barks in her efforts to blow the tourist's doors off she actually reels Cole into the ropes amid loud yelps. Cheryl throws several punches from the back foot but wilts under the head-hunting pressure and tails off in the corner when Cyrus wrecks havoc to squash her lips into a bloody mess! Ugh! The grudge script is on as Miley's eyes glare in delight when she just rips Cole's defense to shreds and keeps her trapped in the corner. Both women follow the aggressive war on attrition tactics but Cyrus simply does the better job in the fourth and leaves the Geordie babe spitting blood at the bell.

Round 5:
A furious attack from Cheryl spikes Miley on both temples and a quick switch to the body pierces the solar plexus however the blonde escapes real trouble when she clinches the fellow singer and almost head-butts her back to the ropes. Things take a dirty turn when the brunette punches the younger foe in the groin - which the referee somehow doesn't notice - but the subsequent wrestling struggle is mercifully stopped before one of these two hellcats throws the other one through the ropes. The verbal abuse returns and Cole's the one getting vocal however Cyrus blasts her across the wounded lips and takes advantage of the superior reach to snap the brown ponytail back & forth as we head into the final minute. Age perhaps becomes a factor as Cheryl loses some of her zip and fails to slam a proper combo before Cyrus turns on the heat and lands a brutal uppercut followed by a double combo on the temples. The Geordie vixen wobbles on her heels and misses the response hook while eating a right-handed blast on the lips that leak more blood again. Uh-oh. Cole trembles forward but her feet get stuck behind her and Miley cashes in the jackpot when she delivers a right cross on the nose TO CHOP THE BRUNETTE SIDEWAYS ON THE CANVAS!!! Cheryl moans in pain as the blood keeps seeping down her chin and she needs an eight count to recover from the trip down south. She tries to send in a proper death stare at her rival but Miley's ready to rinse and repeat. "You're all mine now, bytch!", she yells at the Geordie tourist and then picks her off in mid-range as the older singer's movements are clearly limited. Another double combo snaps the dark ponytail around Cole's neck and she slides against the ropes visibly out of breath with only the clock stopping Cyrus from adding more punishment!

Round 6:
Most of the fans inside the arena expect another recovery from the English girl but Cheryl for once is unable to respond to the improved swarming from her opponent and gets rooted to the spot by the initial approach. Miley splits her mitts with ease and just hauls in the point-blank range assault to the point the Lioness cutman's work is rendered useless and Cheryl's lips begin to leak blood again. The brunette almost crumbles mentally under such a sustained pressure but refuses to back off... or maybe she just can't move an inch anymore with Cyrus slicing her guard from both flanks. Ugh! The yelps are getting desperate now and Cole checks out of the exchange when the American tears another gash under the right eye... she wobbles forward with eyes closed and a drilling uppercut on the jaw sinks her into a complete disarray... THE LEGS CRUMBLE FROM UNDERNEATH HER and she slides to her back with Cyrus being denied landing one last cruel punch too many... the count is slow but not slow enough for Cole to make a recovery.... ding... ding... ding... KO6 Miley Cyrus!!!

AFTER: Is this a genuine upset? Even Miley's bantamweight experience wasn't supposed to make a difference so it's no wonder this result iis labelled as a shocker. The victorious singer gloats over the fallen woman and plants her foot on her tummy while saying: "Got anything to say now, bytch?" She wants Cheryl to be dragged into the Beevers private suites where she'll use her as a sex slave: "She deserves a dildo up her ass" but the explicit content is duly removed from the highlight show and even the Lioness entourage must admit their arch rivals are not to be denied using poor Chezza during an extra round of night bedroom action. Miley's post-fight punishment imagination would make some of the JMD regulars blush and the semi-dazed brunette is given a Walk of Shame before being escorted out of the ring to a rampant ovation Cyrus thrives on: "Yeah, baby, I'm BAAAACK!!! Who needs Lily Collins anyway? I've just destroyed Cheryl frickin' Cole and that's all that really matters! Get the s###roast party going! It's gonna be a fun night!" (laughs).

Final result: Miley Cyrus def. Cheryl Cole KO6.