Post by Lookout! Boxing on Dec 1, 2017 22:41:40 GMT -6
Jeri Ryan (#56) vs. Paula Patton (#25) JMDD!
Result: Lookout/written by simgrrl
Note - The ranking # by "Boxing World Magazine", October 2017 issue.
Tale of the Tape: (age, ht, wt, W-L-D, KOs & bra size)
Ryan: 49yo, 5'8"; 123#; 75-62-4; 60KO (36D) vs Patton: 41yo, 5'7"; 125#; 13-16-0, 12KO; (34C)
Comparative results against common opponents:
Paula Patton (5-5) Jeri Ryan (6-11)[/u]
Ashley Scott 0-1 1-1
Jennifer Garner 0-1 1-2
Christina Hendricks 1-0 0-1
Gena Lee Nolin 1-0 1-1
Ali Landry 1-0 1-3
also: Brittany Daniel; Cassidy Freeman, Kate Upton....both are 0-1 against;
and finally: Estella Warren & Tyra Banks... both are 1-0 versus.
Over the last twelve years (2005-2017) Jeri Ryan's record in fights ending in a KO, TKO or stoppage is a dismal 1-10 (her only win: Vergara, 2010). Clearly, after 37, Ryan's defense and power both declined. Patton, since age 37, is 2-2, stopping both Nolin and Hendricks, against whom Ryan struggled.
Jeri "immediately" accepted Lioness Club of America's offer to sponsor the fight when it was hand delivered by Vassago 3 weeks ago. Ryan's fought only twice since August 2016 [Garner (L) and Govich (W)] and had to scramble trying to get in fight shape. Ryan snapped, "Conditioning won't be a problem with Patton," when pressed by the media.
Paula and Jeri have never met, though they've been ranked at various points in the six years Paula's been in FCBA. Ryan got an offer she couldn't refuse... though at this point in her career she can't refuse ANY OFFER...no matter how outrageous it is or any conditions are attached!
In three months (2-22-18) Ryan will (unbelievably) hit the big 5-0 - the equivalent of a 'death sentence' in Hollywood, especially for celebrity boxers! This COULD BE Jeri's 'last hurrah' - the last time she laces up her gloves and straps down her D+ assets!
If that's the case, Patton makes no bones about wanting to end it. "I want to be the one who drives a stake through that bitches cold heart," she told 'Entertainment Tonight' (the #1 syndicated entertainment news magazine in the world) in an interview 2 days ago: "Too long Ryan and her blond friends made life tough on brunettes. When I kick her hyped up blond ass to the curb, I'll be ec-fukkin-static!"
Paula concluded, "I've had calls, tweets, texts, and... 'Cat' Bell sent a bouquet with a hand written note promising me 'a personal reward' if I 'pancake Ryan's trashy taa-taas'. Signed it with X's and O's. Jeez, Cat... jealous much?"
Clearly, many brunettes have 'issues' with Ryan, including her former stable, "Jeri's Knockouts." In by-gone years Ali Landry and Kelly Brook worked for Ryan and are outspoken in their feelings about her - so much so, FCC rules forbid us from playing their interviews! Even sweet young Missy Peregrym (who's fighting Ryan's girl Lawrence tonight) reserved a two ringside seats for herself and a "plus one" to witness Ryan's "swan song." Missy's coy about her date, but Strahovski let slip, "Missy's going to drag J-Law's arse ringside an' make 'er sit an' watch Ryan be taken apart. I just hope there's enough left to ship back to 'The.one' who's hiding out at an Academy safe house someplace."
Yvonne, who's had issues for years with 'the Ryan-Theron cabal' added, "I wish I could drag Theron to a ringside seat, but she's apparently done a runner after that brawl with Amanda Righetti in her favorite back country roadhouse. Her 'personal assistant' (probably another ditzy blond sl*t) said 'she's unreachable'! Just like 'The.one' to scarper off an' disappear when her 'girls' need her most."
Patton's without a stable to back her tonight, but gets a "look-see" from Vassago of the "Lioness Club" who admitted, "Patton's worth a look... two if I'm honest. Her 13-16 record isn't great, and her 'prime years' are behind her (she'll be 42 on Dec. 5th). I thought a birthday present win over a pushover blond bimbo would be appreciated. And she DID show her appreciation! She's still gorgeous as ever and, umm, surprisingly supple for a woman her age!"
Ryan, when she heard Vassago call her as a "gift wrapped win" and "a pushover blond bimbo" was apoplectic. "I'm neither a bimbo nor a pushover!" Ryan said, green eyes flashing like Borg lasers. "The old curmudgeon better watch himself. I learned a thing or two about IED's in my movies and I may plant one in his shoe... so next time he puts his foot in his mouth he'll blow his own head off!"
On Patton, Ryan says, "I feel for her. I was just starting to enjoy my new job as a referee in a Celebrity League at FCF when this offer came. I figured, 'You're not getting any younger, Jeri' so I took it on a whim. I mean, with her W-L record... Patton's not much risk. OH, sure, she used to hit a little, but she hasn't survived a single loss on her feet since '12. Her last six losses were all KOs. The girl can still throw, but she can't take a punch. And if there's one thing I can still do, it's hit and hit hard!"
Jeri has a couple of 'outstanding' points - and I'm not only talking about her JMDDs, though that's always good place to look! Since 2011, Ryan's only had a losing record once (2016) when she lost two JMDD fights and one each to Nolin and Strahovski (that a beach fight in Mexico). Otherwise, Ryan's only had losing records in 4 of 17 years. During her career she's been in apartment catfights, wrestling, and MMA and she has winning records in all except apartments, where rules are lax and there's no restriction on size, age, or experience as in FCBA. Here, rules are in place to protect fighters against themselves - as well as unscrupulous and unprincipled managers and promoters that infest organizations like, oh for example,the FCF!
THIS JUST IN! In a surprise, the FCBA announced they've just certified a new referee and assigned her to work this (relatively meaningless and largely unimportant) fight. The 44 year old Ali Landry, a Tractopull Hall of Fame member, only got certified Wednesday afternoon and already she's been assigned to referee her first 'big' fight! Landry, some may recall was once a member of 'Jeri's Knockouts' - the stable owned and operated by Ryan. When asked if it was proper to have someone with a connection to one of the fighters, the Office of the Commissioner issued a statement.
The Commissioner's Office views any request for referee certification as a serious matter. Anyone who seeks a certificate must meet rigorous criteria including those of appropriate age and health as well as demonstrate good judgment, character and an ability to work in stressful situations, among others. After reviewing her application and references from current and former fighters as well as managers and officials at FCBA stables, our review committee unanimously agreed Ms. Landry has met the minimum criteria for certification and has, therefore, been approved.
When asked by reporters what "specifically" stood out in Landry's background, a spokesperson cited several factors: "Good judgment in her steadfast resistance to any decision made by her unstable owner; her willingness to 'put jugg' on any opponent, regardless of race, religion or hair color; her ability to work well with other brunettes in fighting 'the illegal and unAmerican attempts by blondes to establish a fair-haired hegemony' and finally, overwhelming support of her fellow fighters.
"We received heartfelt glowing recommendations urging Ms. Landry's certification 'as quickly as possible' from managers, general managers, owners, former owners and trainers, all requested she get an opportunity to 'referee Ryan's last fight.' These included: Catherine Zeta-Jones, GM, Mirage; Jennifer Garner, GM, Foxfire; Kim, former owner, KimZ KruZherZ; Cat Bell, ex-head trainer, #KHAOS; Vassago, owner, Lioness Club; Stephanie McMahon, Owner-Manager, Dream Makers; Jewel Kilcher, Hd Trainer, Front Street; Elisha Cuthbert, Part Owner, Lookout!; Kristanna Loken, Trainer, Dollhouse, as well as many 'woman in the street' emails and petitions spontaneously generated by charities like "MakeRyanHomeless.org" and "EndBlondDomination.com" (both headquartered in Moscow....Idaho, btw).
"We also received lengthy petitions from active FCBA and ACB/BBU fighters. There were over a hundred and fifty signatures from women in the FCBA and nearly a hundred from the ACB/BBU. All fully supporting the effort by Ms. Landry to be certified in time to referee legendary blonde bomber Jeri Ryan's 'hopefully final' fight. These sentiments were overwhelming emotionally and brought tears to the eyes of many in our offices who wasted...er, took...time to actually read them."
The Academy short-handed this week, with Theron nowhere to be found, Lively and Pelas "working" that leaves Ryan's seconds for the fight to Lindsay Lohan and Sharon Stone (out of semi-retirement) to work her corner. Patton's better off, enjoying the full support of the 'Lionesses Club' for support.
Ryan, in perhaps an unconscious nod to her imminent 'golden years' chose a gold string bikini bottom with underwire bra, gold shoes and white & gold gloves; hair a messy ponytail. Patton's dark hair loosely gathered and secured by scrunchie; dark blue bikini with white piping twist-tied at hips and between her cups; black shoes and red gloves! Referee Landry in tight black bike shorts, tight striped referee shirt tied under her still-spectacular bosom; black shoes and black MMA gloves!(?)
* * *
During R1: Landry calls them together for the obligatory chest thumping, breast jostling, vitriol and name-call before they're sent to their corners. Ryan, of course, can't resist a verbal shot at her longtime bitter rival, Landry, who thru devious machination and under the table payoffs, achieved the unthinkable, a last chance to boss Ryan around!
Just before the bell, there's a stir in the audience as Missy Peregrym appears leading Jennifer Lawrence by the hand. They're shown to seats in the front row where Missy indicates to Jennifer that she should take the seat next to Yvonne Strahovski. After J-Law is seated, Missy sits on the other side, putting Jennifer between her and Yvonne. Strahovski leans across Lawrence and rests a hand lightly on Missy's thigh, saying something to her that makes Lawrence smile.
Ryan is watching Lawrence, Strahovski and Peregrym and is startled by the bell, she springs quickly off her stool as both she and Patton bounce out of their corners (Ryan moreso in that little sting bikini, unseemly for a woman her age!) circling left behind crisp, whipping jabs that snap both women's heads back when they're on target...which they are not much of the time. Both look a bit rusty early, and Patton - with far more at risk than Ryan - is clearly nervous. Ryan unleashes that powerful right to rock Paula in the first minute. Patton stunned, recoils back onto the ropes; Ryan slow to pursue. Clinching on the ropes, each uses this opportunity to drive thudding lefts and rights into the others torso, flank, and kidneys. Referee in close, an expression of delight at the sound of Jeri Ryan's big juggs being smacked by Patton leather!
Paula fighting her way off the ropes the second minute, getting her inside game going; bust-busting Ryan with short uppercuts slashing up into the 'soft underbelly' of those overhanging D+ targets Jeri's flaunting. Ryan back on her heels from the heavyweight hurt Paula's delivering with both hands; an unexpected, and unwelcome, return to the ring at this point for Jeri! Ryan forced to get serious after possibly taking Patton lightly - as it seemed from her earlier remarks! Jeri banging back, but Paula's not easily dissuaded and gives as good as she gets; finding it easier to reach Jeri's prodigious bosom then to go an extra six or eight inches to get to her soft belly!
Ryan panting toward the end of the round, her punch output slowing as well, and Patton, getting her second wind, coming on stronger. Paula pounding Jeri's 'pride and joy' with either hand, landing at will as Ryan's defenses getting shredded; her hands dropping, giving Patton easy shots at Jeri's head, stunning her time and again. Ryan's not in trouble - yet - but she looks like a woman on the road to it.
Then everything changes in a heartbeat when Jeri Ryan lands a big RIGHT HAND! Patton's knees buckle, she sits back and almost falls, but staggers back, again finding herself trapped on the ropes. Ryan closes in and is winding up when Landry jumps in and wraps her up, dragging Jeri back as the bell sounds to end the round. (Replay appears to show Landry grabbing Ryan seconds BEFORE the bell, but she's a rookie, so perhaps it was an honest mistake.) It was a close, hard-fought round, but that last right from Ryan kept Patton from winning the round by more and kept it close.
R2: Stone chirping advice to Ryan 'tween rounds, ignored for the most part; Jeri preferring to chat up her former fighter Lohan (about God knows what!) Patton being fed a detailed analysis of the 1st round (complete with iPad graphics) right before the bell. Both out looking fit and ready, but it's Patton who lands the first punches of the round, a left hook, right cross combo that stops Ryan in her tracks and gives Paula the early advantage. Patton no 'pitty-pat' fighter this round as she hammers away at Ryan's torso with lefts and rights without pause, never giving Jeri a chance to set herself to reply! First minute of the round is all Patton with Paula returning to the form she hasn't shown for nearly a decade!
Ryan weathering the storm, comes firing back with two, bludgeoning, rights! The first puts a wobble in Patton's legs, the second sends her hip-hopping backward. Paula's firm butt hits the ropes and she covers up as Jeri 'The Destroyer' opens up with broadsides from both guns; ripping into Patton's perkys, tearing the brunette apart. Time and again, Patton's legs appear about to buckle, but the first time she clinches, hanging on, muffling Ryan's punching until she has herself back under control.
The second time, however, Patton's legs can't weather the storm and she sits down on the middle strand of the ropes, gloves earmuffing; letting Ryan tee off with hooks and crosses that buffet her from side to side. Then, inexplicably, Landry jumps in to separate them, shoving Ryan away with two hands on her chest, nearly knocking the ancient blonde on her backside. Ali solicitously looks after Patton, checking her condition and buying her a good thirty or forty seconds to recover as Landry does 'due diligence' looking after the welfare of the fighter, then finally - almost grudgingly - allows Ryan to resume.
Patton backpedaling under heavy fire from the angry blond, pushing out her jab - but Jeri Ryan walks right through it as if it's not there. Jeri landing that big right hand high on Paula's head, nearly dumping her through the ropes, but Patton hangs onto the ropes with one hand, whistling a hopelessly optimistic right at Ryan that, beyond all belief, hits her in the face! Startled, Ryan stops punching to back off, giving Patton a moment's grace.
Then Jeri Ryan's right back on the attack, tearing into the reeling Patton and battering her back along the ropes into Ryan's corner. With nowhere to run, Paula stands with her butt jammed against the turnbuckles and her gloves at her chin, weathering an initial salvo from Ryan, then a second flurry of lefts and rights. Once again, Patton's 42 year old legs waver, wobbling under the strain of withstanding the blond fury facing them.
Ryan hammers away to the body, Patton slowly sinking, her knees rubbery; only returning one in four of Jeri's thunderbolts. It looks like the end is near when Landry steps in to stop the fight... no wait! Ali's NOT stopping the fight, she's giving Ryan ... A WARNING! For hitting on the break? There was no break! What the.... Ryan gets in Landry's grill, so mad she spits her mouthpiece in Ali's face as she berates her for her 'interference.' Landry, shoves Ryan away and... SHE'S DEDUCTING A POINT! Landry, at the end of her tether "putting up with Ryan's misconduct" walks to the ropes and tells each of the judges they're to penalize Ryan a point for "spitting" on her!
Then when Lindsay Lohan tries to get in the ring to retrieve Ryan's mouthpiece, Landry kicks it out of the ring, grabs Lohan by the hair and the seat of her shorts, and heaves her headfirst thru the ropes out onto the arena floor. THE CROWD GOES WILD! Fans rise as one to applaud Landry, happy that someone...anyone...in authority finally has the backbone to stand up to those vile Academy bullies!
Ryan, sans mouthpiece, rushes past Landry to attack Patton; left hook, right cross and then a huge uppercut that short-circuits Patton's legs and spills the brunette on her butt against the ropes. Ryan turns away, arms raised. It's clearly the end of the road for brave Paula Patton!
But Landry practically tackles Ryan, wrapping her arms around her, lifting her and running her back into her corner, slamming her back against the turnbuckle right in front of Sharon Stone who is apoplectic, screaming at Landry, waving her arms wildly and (almost) foaming at the mouth she's so upset!
Landry pushes Stone off the ring apron and Sharon lands hard on her backside (thankful for the thin rubber padding at ringside), her legs flying up and her short skirt riding up. Cellphone cameras capture the moment for posterity, but (unlike her scene in 'Basic Instinct') Sharon's wearing her panties today, so there's nothing to see that hasn't been seen a million times already!
Ryan is standing over Patton, daring her to get up, when Landry arrives to grab Ryan in a side headlock and pull her away, ramming her headfirst into the turnbuckle in a neutral corner. Jeri crumples to her knees and topples halfway thru the ropes, her head, shoulders, and D+ assets are all cantilevered out of the ring; while her still firm at forty ass and those long legs are inside. While Ryan struggles to get up, Landry is helping Patton to her feet, checking her vitals, making sure she has her mouthpiece, etc., only after Paula assures her she's "OK to continue" does Ali point her toward Jeri Ryan and give her a slap on the butt to send her on her way!
Patton stumbles toward Ryan who is trying to get her head back under the ropes. She's bent over, pushing herself up when Paula arrives and slams into her, knocking Ryan back halfway thru the ropes. With little else to deal with, Paula beats a tattoo with her gloves on Jeri's ass cheeks, working them like speedbags (though later, Paula used the term 'heavy bags' to what it felt like as her fists made contact!)
Ryan squirms and wriggles sideways along the ropes, with Paula walking behind her punching madly, until Jeri is able to get her head and shoulders back into the ring. Landry, watching from a distance, is seen laughing at the sight,, while not taking any action to resolve the humorous situation!
Free at last, the now furious Ryan turns to attack Patton, windmilling blows and slamming chest first into Paula, knocking her back several feet with each impact! As Landry finally realizes she needs to do something, Ryan lands one of trademark sweeping right hands and Patton is blown off her feet, crashing to the mat on her back, arms flung out to the sides, her body starfished on the mat!
Landry saunters over to point Ryan toward her corner, then returns to start to count over Patton. At 'FIVE!' Ali looks back and when she sees Ryan is a couple of feet from her corner, she stops counting and walks over to Jeri and shoves her into the corner. "You stay there until I tell you to leave!" Landry tells her. Then Ali returns to Paula, scratches her chin, and starts to count with 'ONE!'
Stone, Lohan and Ryan all scream and rush toward Landry, but before they can kill the referee, the bell rings, DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! signaling the end of round two. It takes almost the entire break between rounds, but the FCBA finally rules the bell rang before Patton should have been counted out, and they allow the fight to continue. Landry is 'counseled' on her demeanor and warned to do a better job of counting to ten in the future. Big round for Ryan, no matter how you cut it, as she retakes the lead.
R3: Ryan exhausted by the very stressful round two, still huffing and puffing as she stands for the bell. Patton, nearly a decade younger, recovered quickly and is already up and eagerly pawing the canvas at the ten second warning. Paula sprints across the ring, leaps into an overhand right that Jeri is slow to get her left up to block and Ryan's knocked back into her corner! Patton's knee slams into Ryan' s belly as she comes down, followed by a chopping forearm across Ryan's rack! While Jeri's being taken apart in her own corner, Sharon Stone screams at Landry about the numerous fouls she thinks Patton's got away with. Ali takes a moment from enjoying the sight of Ryan's ravaging, to lean over the top rope, her bosom almost spilling out of her loosely tied top, to point dramatically to the front row, telling Stone, "Sit your old ass down and shut up, or I'll come out and put you down!" Chastened Stone slinks back to sit nervously watching in silence for the rest of the round!
Ryan's problems started between rounds when the breathless Jeri got in a screaming argument with Stone over something. Then, after Patton's electric opening shot, Ryan simply couldn't get untracked, unable to do anything to recover from the disastrous firsts ten seconds. Patton a different fighter on the attack against a weakened opponent than in the first two rounds when Ryan held the initiative. Right off the bell, Paula drove Ryan back, stacked her up, and began to target Jeri's soft middle - an area Jeri had always been proud of being in top condition. But infrequent training and long layoffs between fights had taken a toll and Paula used to be one of the best body punchers of the FCBA vets.
With Ryan battered breathless; hanging on, arms wrapped around Paula's shoulders; Patton went about her demolition with relentless precision, hammering the imaginary triangle defined by Jeri's hip bones and belly button. A few, or more, punches landed low, but Ali Landry was being generous in giving Paula the benefit of the doubt - or simply ignoring them out of her hatred of Ryan. Either way, Jeri's body's taking a terrible beating that only eases after Paula decides she's done enough "preliminary' work and begins to target Ryan's "lungs" (JMDD for taa-taa's!) Patton, buoyed by the adrenalin rush of surviving round two, rides that wave; taking out her frustration on Ryan's rack!
Jeri crouching, gloves at her cheeks, elbows tucked in, trying in vain to protect her precious puppies. But her elbows aren't enough to get the job done and Paula teeing off, pounding fists in from both sides as she sways left and right, turning her hips to put every ounce of her 125 pounds into every one. Even if Jeri's biceps or forearm blocks a punch, the impact alone is enough to drives her own arm sideways, pinching her tender breast meat between it and her other throbbing, aching, bruised, breast! It's a sweet deal for Patton, who doesn't have to aim, just keep swinging and hammering away, knowing she can't miss such big, juicy, vulnerable, targets!
Surprisingly, Ali Landry appears to come to Ryan's rescue, stepping in to part them when it seems Ryan's about to go down, or at least take a knee to give herself a break. Ali shoves Paula back, then puts her arm around Jeri and helps her to stand up, pulling her away from the safety of the ropes out into mid-ring. Then Landry winks at Paula and says, "There, now ya got a little more room to work." Patton gives her a grateful nod and moves in for the kill.
That's when everyone sees the malevolence behind Landry's move! When Jeri raises her fists, her bikini top slips down, hanging in front of her belly from her elbows, exposing her freckled breasts to the ogling eyes and cellphone cameras of the crowd! Ryan drops her hands in an unconscious attempt at modesty, and Patton takes advantage of the opening to hammer a left hook to the side of Jeri's head. Ryan's knees buckle and she sits back, stumbling to the ropes trying to keep her feet, then grabs the top strand with her right hand to stay uprigh; her left hand high to protect her face. Paula steps with, her right fist sweeping across under Ryan's left, crushing her left breast! Jeri's mouthpiece comes out along with her squeal of pain, her hands dropping to cradle her bosom.
Lohan, after looking at Stone and seeing her still in her seat with her hands over her eyes, leans in to scream at Landry, telling her to stop the fight long enough to put Ryan's mouth guard in, but Landry angrily waves her off, adding a malevolent glare and warning her about further interference with the referee! Jeri Ryan swaying unsteadily, her arms out in front of her, hands on Paula's shoulders trying to hold her off. Patton swings both fists under Ryan's elbows, speed bagging her 'goodies' - forehand and backhand - Patton disregarding any attempt to protect herself, knowing where Ryan's hands are.
With tears streaming from her eyes, Jeri leans forward and tries to push Patton backward, but Paula is single minded in her attack, her narrowed eyes fixed on the freckled flesh bouncing, flopping, and jiggling in front of her whiplashing gloves. Ryan stops pushing as the pain increases, then Paula starts coming forward, driving Jeri back with a flurry of hard, open-handed, cuffing slaps to her jumpin' juggs! Ryan, almost blinded by her tears, keeps backing away from the hurt as Patton continues to ladle it on with both hands as Landry walks along beside the two women, her eyes bright, her lips curled in a cruel grin, the sound of her giggling lost in the screams of the women standing at ringside who are cheering the humiliation of the woman who, for the past 18 years has earned the reputation of one of the most hated and reviled characters in the FCBA - second only to Charlize Theron. Ryan's destruction of her rivals, both in the ring and the board room, is almost legendary and now, her chickens are coming home to roost in her cleavage has now been exposed to the world.
At ringside, one voice is louder than all others; a tall, blond, Australian screaming, "Don't trip over those sagging udders, luv...no wonder ya keep 'em under wraps!" But Jeri was too busy sobbing, panting, and praying that someone would come save her to pay any attention to Strahovski.
Jeri was ready to take a knee and tell the hated Landry she couldn't continue when the bell rang, and rang, and rang! Even then, Landry didn't move to pull Patton off, it was Paula who realized the bell was ringing and stepped away, looking at Landry as if to say, "What's the matter with you?"
In an incredible three minutes of action, Jeri Ryan hadn't recorded a single hit on Patton, while the 'punchstat' computer at ringside had so overheated trying to keep up, it had shut down and was, like Ryan herself, a smoking ruin! Patton's lopsided score - without a knockdown - put her back into a big lead after three action-and-controversy-filled rounds unexpectedly high drama action!
Between Rounds: Sharon Stone shook herself from her angst-filled stupor and returned to Ryan's corner where Lohan had brought Jeri after scrambling into the ring and gently guiding her to her stool. While Stone tried to pull Ryan out of her painfilled mental funk, Lohan did what the little redhead had always had a talent for doing...looking into Ryan's cleavage problem. She found Jeri's top on the arena floor where it had gotten kicked during the action in the ring. It hadn't been damaged, just unfastened by Landry's nimble fingers, although Ryan's breasts were already so swollen it was a tight fit and Jeri groaned as Lindsay gently lifted each one carefully into its cup and secured the band around Jeri's heaving chest. "You know what you've got to do now?" Stone hissed in Jeri's ear as she wiped the tears from her face and poured cold water on her, soaking her already sweat dampened top in the process.
R4: Once again, Patton was on her feet before the bell, eager to get back in Jeri's "legendary" bosom - which didn't look all that 'great' at the moment, her bruised flesh swelling up over the top of her bra. The way Ryan winced each time she moved told Paula that if she landed a couple of hard shots, Jeri would almost certainly throw in the towel rather than accept even the slightest bit more pain. Ryan was still sitting, leaning back as Lohan pulled on her bikini trying to pump air back into Jeri's battered lungs.
Just as the previous round, Patton raced across the ring and threw a right as Jeri was rising from her stool. Just as the previous round, it connected, and as the previous round Ryan collapsed back into her corner, her hands fumbling grasping at the ropes. But unlike the previous round, this time Patton didn't drive her knee into Jeri's belly - there was no need - the forearm smash she gave Jeri's ravaged rack was more than sufficient to slam Ryan's butt back down onto the middle turnbuckle, leaving her folded over with both arms folded across her throbbing bosom as 'flop sweat' ran from her face to dribble on the floor between her feet!
"You had enough old lady?" Landry asked Jeri as she leaned in over Patton's shoulder to enjoy the sight of her longtime nemesis in pain! Jeri slowly lifted her head; eyes red from crying; and slowly shook her head 'no'. Ali gave a surprised start at the unexpected refusal. But she patted Paula on the back and said, "She's all yours; I won't stop it."
Patton elbowed Landry aside and grabbed Ryan's ponytail, then dragged her bent over to the center of the ring where she'd have plenty of room wind up and swing...and where the ropes weren't close enough to help Ryan when she went down...assuming she even tried to get up again!
Paula wound up and unleashed (maybe) the hardest right hand she'd thrown in several years... CRACK! The loud sound of her right wrist striking Jeri's raised left forearm startled many in the audience, but it send shockwaves vibrating all the way up Paula's arm, numbing it clear to her shoulder! Patton stumbled back, shocked the battered blonde had managed to lift her arm, let alone in time to block the punch. It took a moment for her to realize her senseless right arm was dangling limp. She tried to, but couldn't, lift it and she knew she was in deep trouble!
Jeri trudged forward, as yet unaware of Paula's predicament. She pushed out a limp jab, her left arm
still tingling after the hard the impact with Paula's wrist. Patton circled behind a left hook that rocked Jeri's head to the side, then she doubled up on it, this one bouncing high off Jeri's shoulder as she continue to lean to her left from the blow to her head. Paula realized she must continue to punch, not give Ryan a chance to recover and fight back. Two more left hands forced Jeri to continue her retreat but now Ryan realized Paula's right arm was still hanging by her side and that this may be her only chance to turn it around!
Jeri cocked her right hand at her ear, but kept her right elbow in front to protect her right breast from Paula's dangerous left hook. Jeri kept pumping the jab in Paula's face, forcing the brunette's feet to keep moving, preventing her from setting herself to throw her left. Murmurs ran through the crowd as the fans started to realize 'something' had happened. Their reaction included a big groan from the Lioness' Club - joined by every other 'right thinking' brunette and redhead who saw Ryan as a symbol for everything wrong with the FCBA for many years (too damm many blondes!)
Jeri kept the pressure on, moving forward behind her jab, flicking out a straight right whenever Paula's moving to her left provided an opening she thought she might exploit. This awkward dance continued for almost a minute, with neither landing a telling blow, then Jeri finally took the risk of stepping into Patton's left, and once inside the arc, send a right hook smashing against Patton's left ear. The punch turned Paula halfway around, giving Jeri an opening for a second right hand, this one high on the brunette's forehead as Patton was already beginning to fall backward. The right to her head hastened her fall and Paula landed hard on her butt, then rolled onto her back!
Jeri stood looming over Patton, sweat dripping from her nose and chin, her fists clenched at her hips, daring the brunette to get up. As soon as Paula hit the canvas, Landry - who'd been leaning in one corner watching the 'action' with disinterest since any chance of Ryan being beaten and humiliated seemed gone - roused herself and hurried over to grab Jeri, wrapping her arms around her from behind and clamping her in a tight bearhug...deliberately crushing her aching breasts as she did. Jeri let out a whine that made Ali's heart beat faster with excitement as she dragged the blond, kicking and squirming, clear across the ring and then slammed her chestfirst into the corner turnbuckles! "Stay there and don't move until I tell you Ryan," Landry snarled....secretly hoping Jeri would come after her so she'd have an excuse to hit her with her MMA gloved fists a couple of times.
But when Landry stepped back ready to defend herself, Jeri turned around and leaned back on the ropes, not giving any indication she wanted anything to do with a fresh, eager to fight, opponent. Ali smirked as she slowly turned and walked back to where Patton was rolling around on the mat, struggling to sit up. Ali was pretty sure at least ten or fifteen seconds had already passed since the knockdown, but she still circled around Paula twice before she leaned down and hissed, "Get up you pussy, she's ready for the taking. What the hell are you waiting for?" The next word out of her mouth was, "ONE!"
Ryan was so angry she almost ran across the ring to argue with Landry, but she was tired and her body battered...besides, by now she knew nobody was going to do anything about Landry - at least not until after the fight, when it would be too late. So she took the time she'd gained to catch her breath and calm herself down. Getting mad wasn't going to do her any good, not with Landry in charge! She closed her eyes and tried to center herself and when she opened them, Patton was back on her feet and Landry was taking her mouthpiece from her and walking over to Paula's corner to wash it off, giving Patton another thirty or more seconds to recover. Jeri thought about just challenging Landry to fight her right then and there, but she knew that was what Ali wanted her to do.
Finally, after a long break, Landry had Patton back together and, more or less, ready to go. Jeri walked over and when Paula raised her hands, Jeri's heart sank to the pit of her stomach. Paula's right arm was up and she looked ready to use her right hand again! Not good! Not having a choice, Jeri quickly snapped out her jab, hitting Paula in the face. Again! A second jab rocked the brunette's head back. Ryan pushed out a third jab, this time Paula's right lifted just enough to deflect it, but Jeri's right was already on the way and she smacked Patton in the cheek, sending her reeling back to the ropes!
Jeri moved with her, pummeling Paula's torso with several hard right crosses and left hooks, keeping her ducking and moving to avoid direct impacts, but too busy to throw punches. Both were exhausted from all the punches they'd thrown, and all the punches they'd taken, so they both heaved a sigh of relief a few seconds later when the bell rang ending the fourth round. This one in Ryan's favor, and by a wide margin thanks to Paula's injured right arm.
Between Rounds: Claudia Schiffer and Odette Yustman scramble to get Paula to her stool where Claudia goes to work on Patton's right wrist and elbow; Yustman taking the responsibility for getting the rest of her ready for the next round. Across the ring, Ryan looks down; she'd had the chance to put an end to Patton, but she hadn't had the energy, the stamina, or the will, to push herself the extra bit it would have taken. Now, she's looking across the expanse of dirty, blood spattered, canvas and seeing a brunette who is growing stronger by the second. Even worse, Landry is bouncing up and down on her toes, unable to contain herself until Patton stretches Jeri out on her back. Ryan has no illusions about what would happen next....it's a JMDD bout and Patton's never shown any interest in them. Landry, on the other hand, is dressed ready to unleash her puppies on Jeri's face at the first opportunity!
R5: (Paula KD min 1; Jeri KD min 2; Jeri finishes Paula on the ropes, referee steps in TKO5!)
Jeri struggles to her feet as the ten second warning buzzer sounds, takes a deep breath, wincing at the pain as her chest expands her swoolen breasts in the restrictively tight bikini top. Landry and Patton, both watching her intently, both smile at her pain, knowing it's a weakness they can each exploit in her own way. Ryan hesitates when she hears the bell, a small part of her brain telling her it's not too late to turn around and simply pack it in after thirty-five years of fighting. But another part of her brain argues she can't quit, and besides it's only another few minut....
Jeri shakes her head, hearing a strange ringing in her ears. She looks around and realizes she's sitting with her head resting on the bottom rope in a boxing ring! What am I.... oh, right. Patton! She blinks, her vision slowly clearing to reveal the leering smirking face of Ali Landry who's sweeping her arm in front of Jeri as she counts... "SIX!" Ryan reaches behind her, feeling for the middle rope she needs to help pull herself to her knees so she can beat the... "SEVEN!" ...count!
'Damn, she's counting fast,' Jeri realizes, trying to hurry.
"EIGHT!"
Ryan gets one leg under her, pushes up on one knee...
"NINE!"
She leans forward, taking the weight off her back leg, pushes up...
"TE..."
Landry's hand stops two-thirds of the way past Jeri's face, then Ali chuckling, says, "Nah, that'd be too easy. I want to see you stretched out and asleep in your final fight." She grabs Jeri's wrists, checks her gloves, quick rubs them on her breasts to clean the dirt, then waves at Paula to 'come on over'.
Ryan's back on the ropes, crabs sideways, her left arm extended, palm out. She's not going to jab, she just wants to keep Paula's right hand at bay as long as possible while she tries to clear her hea..
"OHHhhhhhh....." An explosion of pain in Jeri's right breast reminds her Patton's right isn't the only hand she should worry about. Her eyes tearing from pain, Jeri slaps Paula with her open left hand and steps around behind it, turning Patton away to create room to run, to put both space - and time - between her and her pursuer. It's been a long since Ryan had run from another fighter, but she'd only won one fight in two years... maybe if she'd run more often...?
Jeri whirled around to face Patton who had turned to chase her. They came together and exchanged right hands, Jeri's cross sailing wide as Patton slipped it; Paula's looping overhand crashing down onto Jeri's left breast.
"UNNNNNGGGH...." Ryan's right knee unhinging as she flinches from the pain and she nearly topples over, catching herself at the last second to hobble away. Paula has a big grin on her lips. 'She's enjoying it,' Jeri thought. 'That b*tch!' If she thought Paula was enjoying it, Ryan should've seem Landry, whose smile was wide as Kansas. The only thing Ali Landry would've enjoyed more than a front row seat to watch Ryan's body destroyed by a brunette would be if Ali herself had been the one doing it!
Patton saw Jeri falter and knew her moment had come. Although off balance, she nevertheless lunged and threw a wild haymaker at Ryan's exposed jaw. Only a last second unconscious reaction by Jeri's brain avoided her getting crushed by Paula's punishing punch, to be left starfished on the canvas for Landry... and who knows how many other brunettes... to have their way with her as she lay oblivious and unconscious to the humiliation inflicted upon her helpless body.
Instead, her left hand jerked up between her and Patton's right, accidentally (she would later tell reporters) hitting Paula squarely on the point of her jaw. Patton's brain shut down, but she remained upright, although her body was unaware of it by this time. Jeri's follow-on right cross was 'frosting on the cake' as it were, totally turning off Patton's lights and sprawling her on her back, oblivious to anything that happened after the moment of impact.
Ali Landry, stood rooted to her spot on the canvas as Patton slow-motion cratered into the mat and lay unmoving at her feet, clearly not coming around anytime soon. Landry drew back her foot as if to kick Patton, then realizing all eyes were on her, she grudgingly, and with malice in her gaze, waved off the count and then turned and left the ring without bothering to raise the hand of her hated rival and nemesis, Jeri 'Freakin' Ryan, your winner by KO5!"
* * *
After: After Ryan autographed her gloves, she tossed them into the crowd where a blonde scramble ensued for souvenirs from what looked like the last time Jeri would ever appear in an FCBA ring as a competitor. If so, she certainly went out with a BANG! Jeri turned and stomped across the ring to confront Patton who was slumped on her stool, elbows on knees, head bowed!
Jeri stopped in front of her and lifted Patton's chin with her hand, then leaned in and said something to her in a voice so low, not even the sensitive ring microphones were able to pick it up. Then Jeri let Paula's head drop, spun on her heel and strutted away, not even bothering to take her hard-earned JMDD breast smother of her defeated opponent.
Later, Ryan would magnanimously say, "Paula fought well; she did everything she could to win that fight and, in all honesty, she'd done nothing that merited the privilege of having these lovely ladies on her face," she added, cupping her still throbbing and obviously swollen breasts in her hands.
"The one who deserves to be punished, is that odious brunette bimbo Ali Landry. At no point in the fight did she ever make a single decision that was NOT based on personal animus or favoritism toward a fellow brunette. The one time Patton might have taken unfair advantage of Landry's illegal favortism, she backed off and didn't. That says a lot more about Paula Patton's sportsmanship than it does about Landry's refereeing!"
When asked if she would ever fight again after she turned fifty, Ryan bristled. "I'm still better than half of the bimbos fighting, and more qualified than three-quarters of the ones in JMDD, so 'yes' I plan to continue fighting until I can't handle it any longer. And as far as my next opponent, I'd like nothing better than to be the woman who retires that cxnt, Ali Landry!!"
Patton, her career probably ended by this upset loss to Ryan, was too distraught to leave her locker room. Despite that, there were those who argued, "If Ryan thinks she's competitive, then anyone who saw her in the ring with Paula Patton has got to understand that Patton's twice the fighter Ryan is at this point in their careers." He added, "I'd rather see 'Patton-Ryan II' than another boring Ryan-Landry fight, and that's despite how great Ryan's hooters still look!"
END
Result: Lookout/written by simgrrl
Note - The ranking # by "Boxing World Magazine", October 2017 issue.
Tale of the Tape: (age, ht, wt, W-L-D, KOs & bra size)
Ryan: 49yo, 5'8"; 123#; 75-62-4; 60KO (36D) vs Patton: 41yo, 5'7"; 125#; 13-16-0, 12KO; (34C)
Comparative results against common opponents:
Paula Patton (5-5) Jeri Ryan (6-11)[/u]
Ashley Scott 0-1 1-1
Jennifer Garner 0-1 1-2
Christina Hendricks 1-0 0-1
Gena Lee Nolin 1-0 1-1
Ali Landry 1-0 1-3
also: Brittany Daniel; Cassidy Freeman, Kate Upton....both are 0-1 against;
and finally: Estella Warren & Tyra Banks... both are 1-0 versus.
Over the last twelve years (2005-2017) Jeri Ryan's record in fights ending in a KO, TKO or stoppage is a dismal 1-10 (her only win: Vergara, 2010). Clearly, after 37, Ryan's defense and power both declined. Patton, since age 37, is 2-2, stopping both Nolin and Hendricks, against whom Ryan struggled.
Jeri "immediately" accepted Lioness Club of America's offer to sponsor the fight when it was hand delivered by Vassago 3 weeks ago. Ryan's fought only twice since August 2016 [Garner (L) and Govich (W)] and had to scramble trying to get in fight shape. Ryan snapped, "Conditioning won't be a problem with Patton," when pressed by the media.
Paula and Jeri have never met, though they've been ranked at various points in the six years Paula's been in FCBA. Ryan got an offer she couldn't refuse... though at this point in her career she can't refuse ANY OFFER...no matter how outrageous it is or any conditions are attached!
In three months (2-22-18) Ryan will (unbelievably) hit the big 5-0 - the equivalent of a 'death sentence' in Hollywood, especially for celebrity boxers! This COULD BE Jeri's 'last hurrah' - the last time she laces up her gloves and straps down her D+ assets!
If that's the case, Patton makes no bones about wanting to end it. "I want to be the one who drives a stake through that bitches cold heart," she told 'Entertainment Tonight' (the #1 syndicated entertainment news magazine in the world) in an interview 2 days ago: "Too long Ryan and her blond friends made life tough on brunettes. When I kick her hyped up blond ass to the curb, I'll be ec-fukkin-static!"
Paula concluded, "I've had calls, tweets, texts, and... 'Cat' Bell sent a bouquet with a hand written note promising me 'a personal reward' if I 'pancake Ryan's trashy taa-taas'. Signed it with X's and O's. Jeez, Cat... jealous much?"
Clearly, many brunettes have 'issues' with Ryan, including her former stable, "Jeri's Knockouts." In by-gone years Ali Landry and Kelly Brook worked for Ryan and are outspoken in their feelings about her - so much so, FCC rules forbid us from playing their interviews! Even sweet young Missy Peregrym (who's fighting Ryan's girl Lawrence tonight) reserved a two ringside seats for herself and a "plus one" to witness Ryan's "swan song." Missy's coy about her date, but Strahovski let slip, "Missy's going to drag J-Law's arse ringside an' make 'er sit an' watch Ryan be taken apart. I just hope there's enough left to ship back to 'The.one' who's hiding out at an Academy safe house someplace."
Yvonne, who's had issues for years with 'the Ryan-Theron cabal' added, "I wish I could drag Theron to a ringside seat, but she's apparently done a runner after that brawl with Amanda Righetti in her favorite back country roadhouse. Her 'personal assistant' (probably another ditzy blond sl*t) said 'she's unreachable'! Just like 'The.one' to scarper off an' disappear when her 'girls' need her most."
Patton's without a stable to back her tonight, but gets a "look-see" from Vassago of the "Lioness Club" who admitted, "Patton's worth a look... two if I'm honest. Her 13-16 record isn't great, and her 'prime years' are behind her (she'll be 42 on Dec. 5th). I thought a birthday present win over a pushover blond bimbo would be appreciated. And she DID show her appreciation! She's still gorgeous as ever and, umm, surprisingly supple for a woman her age!"
Ryan, when she heard Vassago call her as a "gift wrapped win" and "a pushover blond bimbo" was apoplectic. "I'm neither a bimbo nor a pushover!" Ryan said, green eyes flashing like Borg lasers. "The old curmudgeon better watch himself. I learned a thing or two about IED's in my movies and I may plant one in his shoe... so next time he puts his foot in his mouth he'll blow his own head off!"
On Patton, Ryan says, "I feel for her. I was just starting to enjoy my new job as a referee in a Celebrity League at FCF when this offer came. I figured, 'You're not getting any younger, Jeri' so I took it on a whim. I mean, with her W-L record... Patton's not much risk. OH, sure, she used to hit a little, but she hasn't survived a single loss on her feet since '12. Her last six losses were all KOs. The girl can still throw, but she can't take a punch. And if there's one thing I can still do, it's hit and hit hard!"
Jeri has a couple of 'outstanding' points - and I'm not only talking about her JMDDs, though that's always good place to look! Since 2011, Ryan's only had a losing record once (2016) when she lost two JMDD fights and one each to Nolin and Strahovski (that a beach fight in Mexico). Otherwise, Ryan's only had losing records in 4 of 17 years. During her career she's been in apartment catfights, wrestling, and MMA and she has winning records in all except apartments, where rules are lax and there's no restriction on size, age, or experience as in FCBA. Here, rules are in place to protect fighters against themselves - as well as unscrupulous and unprincipled managers and promoters that infest organizations like, oh for example,the FCF!
THIS JUST IN! In a surprise, the FCBA announced they've just certified a new referee and assigned her to work this (relatively meaningless and largely unimportant) fight. The 44 year old Ali Landry, a Tractopull Hall of Fame member, only got certified Wednesday afternoon and already she's been assigned to referee her first 'big' fight! Landry, some may recall was once a member of 'Jeri's Knockouts' - the stable owned and operated by Ryan. When asked if it was proper to have someone with a connection to one of the fighters, the Office of the Commissioner issued a statement.
The Commissioner's Office views any request for referee certification as a serious matter. Anyone who seeks a certificate must meet rigorous criteria including those of appropriate age and health as well as demonstrate good judgment, character and an ability to work in stressful situations, among others. After reviewing her application and references from current and former fighters as well as managers and officials at FCBA stables, our review committee unanimously agreed Ms. Landry has met the minimum criteria for certification and has, therefore, been approved.
When asked by reporters what "specifically" stood out in Landry's background, a spokesperson cited several factors: "Good judgment in her steadfast resistance to any decision made by her unstable owner; her willingness to 'put jugg' on any opponent, regardless of race, religion or hair color; her ability to work well with other brunettes in fighting 'the illegal and unAmerican attempts by blondes to establish a fair-haired hegemony' and finally, overwhelming support of her fellow fighters.
"We received heartfelt glowing recommendations urging Ms. Landry's certification 'as quickly as possible' from managers, general managers, owners, former owners and trainers, all requested she get an opportunity to 'referee Ryan's last fight.' These included: Catherine Zeta-Jones, GM, Mirage; Jennifer Garner, GM, Foxfire; Kim, former owner, KimZ KruZherZ; Cat Bell, ex-head trainer, #KHAOS; Vassago, owner, Lioness Club; Stephanie McMahon, Owner-Manager, Dream Makers; Jewel Kilcher, Hd Trainer, Front Street; Elisha Cuthbert, Part Owner, Lookout!; Kristanna Loken, Trainer, Dollhouse, as well as many 'woman in the street' emails and petitions spontaneously generated by charities like "MakeRyanHomeless.org" and "EndBlondDomination.com" (both headquartered in Moscow....Idaho, btw).
"We also received lengthy petitions from active FCBA and ACB/BBU fighters. There were over a hundred and fifty signatures from women in the FCBA and nearly a hundred from the ACB/BBU. All fully supporting the effort by Ms. Landry to be certified in time to referee legendary blonde bomber Jeri Ryan's 'hopefully final' fight. These sentiments were overwhelming emotionally and brought tears to the eyes of many in our offices who wasted...er, took...time to actually read them."
The Academy short-handed this week, with Theron nowhere to be found, Lively and Pelas "working" that leaves Ryan's seconds for the fight to Lindsay Lohan and Sharon Stone (out of semi-retirement) to work her corner. Patton's better off, enjoying the full support of the 'Lionesses Club' for support.
Ryan, in perhaps an unconscious nod to her imminent 'golden years' chose a gold string bikini bottom with underwire bra, gold shoes and white & gold gloves; hair a messy ponytail. Patton's dark hair loosely gathered and secured by scrunchie; dark blue bikini with white piping twist-tied at hips and between her cups; black shoes and red gloves! Referee Landry in tight black bike shorts, tight striped referee shirt tied under her still-spectacular bosom; black shoes and black MMA gloves!(?)
* * *
During R1: Landry calls them together for the obligatory chest thumping, breast jostling, vitriol and name-call before they're sent to their corners. Ryan, of course, can't resist a verbal shot at her longtime bitter rival, Landry, who thru devious machination and under the table payoffs, achieved the unthinkable, a last chance to boss Ryan around!
Just before the bell, there's a stir in the audience as Missy Peregrym appears leading Jennifer Lawrence by the hand. They're shown to seats in the front row where Missy indicates to Jennifer that she should take the seat next to Yvonne Strahovski. After J-Law is seated, Missy sits on the other side, putting Jennifer between her and Yvonne. Strahovski leans across Lawrence and rests a hand lightly on Missy's thigh, saying something to her that makes Lawrence smile.
Ryan is watching Lawrence, Strahovski and Peregrym and is startled by the bell, she springs quickly off her stool as both she and Patton bounce out of their corners (Ryan moreso in that little sting bikini, unseemly for a woman her age!) circling left behind crisp, whipping jabs that snap both women's heads back when they're on target...which they are not much of the time. Both look a bit rusty early, and Patton - with far more at risk than Ryan - is clearly nervous. Ryan unleashes that powerful right to rock Paula in the first minute. Patton stunned, recoils back onto the ropes; Ryan slow to pursue. Clinching on the ropes, each uses this opportunity to drive thudding lefts and rights into the others torso, flank, and kidneys. Referee in close, an expression of delight at the sound of Jeri Ryan's big juggs being smacked by Patton leather!
Paula fighting her way off the ropes the second minute, getting her inside game going; bust-busting Ryan with short uppercuts slashing up into the 'soft underbelly' of those overhanging D+ targets Jeri's flaunting. Ryan back on her heels from the heavyweight hurt Paula's delivering with both hands; an unexpected, and unwelcome, return to the ring at this point for Jeri! Ryan forced to get serious after possibly taking Patton lightly - as it seemed from her earlier remarks! Jeri banging back, but Paula's not easily dissuaded and gives as good as she gets; finding it easier to reach Jeri's prodigious bosom then to go an extra six or eight inches to get to her soft belly!
Ryan panting toward the end of the round, her punch output slowing as well, and Patton, getting her second wind, coming on stronger. Paula pounding Jeri's 'pride and joy' with either hand, landing at will as Ryan's defenses getting shredded; her hands dropping, giving Patton easy shots at Jeri's head, stunning her time and again. Ryan's not in trouble - yet - but she looks like a woman on the road to it.
Then everything changes in a heartbeat when Jeri Ryan lands a big RIGHT HAND! Patton's knees buckle, she sits back and almost falls, but staggers back, again finding herself trapped on the ropes. Ryan closes in and is winding up when Landry jumps in and wraps her up, dragging Jeri back as the bell sounds to end the round. (Replay appears to show Landry grabbing Ryan seconds BEFORE the bell, but she's a rookie, so perhaps it was an honest mistake.) It was a close, hard-fought round, but that last right from Ryan kept Patton from winning the round by more and kept it close.
R2: Stone chirping advice to Ryan 'tween rounds, ignored for the most part; Jeri preferring to chat up her former fighter Lohan (about God knows what!) Patton being fed a detailed analysis of the 1st round (complete with iPad graphics) right before the bell. Both out looking fit and ready, but it's Patton who lands the first punches of the round, a left hook, right cross combo that stops Ryan in her tracks and gives Paula the early advantage. Patton no 'pitty-pat' fighter this round as she hammers away at Ryan's torso with lefts and rights without pause, never giving Jeri a chance to set herself to reply! First minute of the round is all Patton with Paula returning to the form she hasn't shown for nearly a decade!
Ryan weathering the storm, comes firing back with two, bludgeoning, rights! The first puts a wobble in Patton's legs, the second sends her hip-hopping backward. Paula's firm butt hits the ropes and she covers up as Jeri 'The Destroyer' opens up with broadsides from both guns; ripping into Patton's perkys, tearing the brunette apart. Time and again, Patton's legs appear about to buckle, but the first time she clinches, hanging on, muffling Ryan's punching until she has herself back under control.
The second time, however, Patton's legs can't weather the storm and she sits down on the middle strand of the ropes, gloves earmuffing; letting Ryan tee off with hooks and crosses that buffet her from side to side. Then, inexplicably, Landry jumps in to separate them, shoving Ryan away with two hands on her chest, nearly knocking the ancient blonde on her backside. Ali solicitously looks after Patton, checking her condition and buying her a good thirty or forty seconds to recover as Landry does 'due diligence' looking after the welfare of the fighter, then finally - almost grudgingly - allows Ryan to resume.
Patton backpedaling under heavy fire from the angry blond, pushing out her jab - but Jeri Ryan walks right through it as if it's not there. Jeri landing that big right hand high on Paula's head, nearly dumping her through the ropes, but Patton hangs onto the ropes with one hand, whistling a hopelessly optimistic right at Ryan that, beyond all belief, hits her in the face! Startled, Ryan stops punching to back off, giving Patton a moment's grace.
Then Jeri Ryan's right back on the attack, tearing into the reeling Patton and battering her back along the ropes into Ryan's corner. With nowhere to run, Paula stands with her butt jammed against the turnbuckles and her gloves at her chin, weathering an initial salvo from Ryan, then a second flurry of lefts and rights. Once again, Patton's 42 year old legs waver, wobbling under the strain of withstanding the blond fury facing them.
Ryan hammers away to the body, Patton slowly sinking, her knees rubbery; only returning one in four of Jeri's thunderbolts. It looks like the end is near when Landry steps in to stop the fight... no wait! Ali's NOT stopping the fight, she's giving Ryan ... A WARNING! For hitting on the break? There was no break! What the.... Ryan gets in Landry's grill, so mad she spits her mouthpiece in Ali's face as she berates her for her 'interference.' Landry, shoves Ryan away and... SHE'S DEDUCTING A POINT! Landry, at the end of her tether "putting up with Ryan's misconduct" walks to the ropes and tells each of the judges they're to penalize Ryan a point for "spitting" on her!
Then when Lindsay Lohan tries to get in the ring to retrieve Ryan's mouthpiece, Landry kicks it out of the ring, grabs Lohan by the hair and the seat of her shorts, and heaves her headfirst thru the ropes out onto the arena floor. THE CROWD GOES WILD! Fans rise as one to applaud Landry, happy that someone...anyone...in authority finally has the backbone to stand up to those vile Academy bullies!
Ryan, sans mouthpiece, rushes past Landry to attack Patton; left hook, right cross and then a huge uppercut that short-circuits Patton's legs and spills the brunette on her butt against the ropes. Ryan turns away, arms raised. It's clearly the end of the road for brave Paula Patton!
But Landry practically tackles Ryan, wrapping her arms around her, lifting her and running her back into her corner, slamming her back against the turnbuckle right in front of Sharon Stone who is apoplectic, screaming at Landry, waving her arms wildly and (almost) foaming at the mouth she's so upset!
Landry pushes Stone off the ring apron and Sharon lands hard on her backside (thankful for the thin rubber padding at ringside), her legs flying up and her short skirt riding up. Cellphone cameras capture the moment for posterity, but (unlike her scene in 'Basic Instinct') Sharon's wearing her panties today, so there's nothing to see that hasn't been seen a million times already!
Ryan is standing over Patton, daring her to get up, when Landry arrives to grab Ryan in a side headlock and pull her away, ramming her headfirst into the turnbuckle in a neutral corner. Jeri crumples to her knees and topples halfway thru the ropes, her head, shoulders, and D+ assets are all cantilevered out of the ring; while her still firm at forty ass and those long legs are inside. While Ryan struggles to get up, Landry is helping Patton to her feet, checking her vitals, making sure she has her mouthpiece, etc., only after Paula assures her she's "OK to continue" does Ali point her toward Jeri Ryan and give her a slap on the butt to send her on her way!
Patton stumbles toward Ryan who is trying to get her head back under the ropes. She's bent over, pushing herself up when Paula arrives and slams into her, knocking Ryan back halfway thru the ropes. With little else to deal with, Paula beats a tattoo with her gloves on Jeri's ass cheeks, working them like speedbags (though later, Paula used the term 'heavy bags' to what it felt like as her fists made contact!)
Ryan squirms and wriggles sideways along the ropes, with Paula walking behind her punching madly, until Jeri is able to get her head and shoulders back into the ring. Landry, watching from a distance, is seen laughing at the sight,, while not taking any action to resolve the humorous situation!
Free at last, the now furious Ryan turns to attack Patton, windmilling blows and slamming chest first into Paula, knocking her back several feet with each impact! As Landry finally realizes she needs to do something, Ryan lands one of trademark sweeping right hands and Patton is blown off her feet, crashing to the mat on her back, arms flung out to the sides, her body starfished on the mat!
Landry saunters over to point Ryan toward her corner, then returns to start to count over Patton. At 'FIVE!' Ali looks back and when she sees Ryan is a couple of feet from her corner, she stops counting and walks over to Jeri and shoves her into the corner. "You stay there until I tell you to leave!" Landry tells her. Then Ali returns to Paula, scratches her chin, and starts to count with 'ONE!'
Stone, Lohan and Ryan all scream and rush toward Landry, but before they can kill the referee, the bell rings, DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! DING! signaling the end of round two. It takes almost the entire break between rounds, but the FCBA finally rules the bell rang before Patton should have been counted out, and they allow the fight to continue. Landry is 'counseled' on her demeanor and warned to do a better job of counting to ten in the future. Big round for Ryan, no matter how you cut it, as she retakes the lead.
R3: Ryan exhausted by the very stressful round two, still huffing and puffing as she stands for the bell. Patton, nearly a decade younger, recovered quickly and is already up and eagerly pawing the canvas at the ten second warning. Paula sprints across the ring, leaps into an overhand right that Jeri is slow to get her left up to block and Ryan's knocked back into her corner! Patton's knee slams into Ryan' s belly as she comes down, followed by a chopping forearm across Ryan's rack! While Jeri's being taken apart in her own corner, Sharon Stone screams at Landry about the numerous fouls she thinks Patton's got away with. Ali takes a moment from enjoying the sight of Ryan's ravaging, to lean over the top rope, her bosom almost spilling out of her loosely tied top, to point dramatically to the front row, telling Stone, "Sit your old ass down and shut up, or I'll come out and put you down!" Chastened Stone slinks back to sit nervously watching in silence for the rest of the round!
Ryan's problems started between rounds when the breathless Jeri got in a screaming argument with Stone over something. Then, after Patton's electric opening shot, Ryan simply couldn't get untracked, unable to do anything to recover from the disastrous firsts ten seconds. Patton a different fighter on the attack against a weakened opponent than in the first two rounds when Ryan held the initiative. Right off the bell, Paula drove Ryan back, stacked her up, and began to target Jeri's soft middle - an area Jeri had always been proud of being in top condition. But infrequent training and long layoffs between fights had taken a toll and Paula used to be one of the best body punchers of the FCBA vets.
With Ryan battered breathless; hanging on, arms wrapped around Paula's shoulders; Patton went about her demolition with relentless precision, hammering the imaginary triangle defined by Jeri's hip bones and belly button. A few, or more, punches landed low, but Ali Landry was being generous in giving Paula the benefit of the doubt - or simply ignoring them out of her hatred of Ryan. Either way, Jeri's body's taking a terrible beating that only eases after Paula decides she's done enough "preliminary' work and begins to target Ryan's "lungs" (JMDD for taa-taa's!) Patton, buoyed by the adrenalin rush of surviving round two, rides that wave; taking out her frustration on Ryan's rack!
Jeri crouching, gloves at her cheeks, elbows tucked in, trying in vain to protect her precious puppies. But her elbows aren't enough to get the job done and Paula teeing off, pounding fists in from both sides as she sways left and right, turning her hips to put every ounce of her 125 pounds into every one. Even if Jeri's biceps or forearm blocks a punch, the impact alone is enough to drives her own arm sideways, pinching her tender breast meat between it and her other throbbing, aching, bruised, breast! It's a sweet deal for Patton, who doesn't have to aim, just keep swinging and hammering away, knowing she can't miss such big, juicy, vulnerable, targets!
Surprisingly, Ali Landry appears to come to Ryan's rescue, stepping in to part them when it seems Ryan's about to go down, or at least take a knee to give herself a break. Ali shoves Paula back, then puts her arm around Jeri and helps her to stand up, pulling her away from the safety of the ropes out into mid-ring. Then Landry winks at Paula and says, "There, now ya got a little more room to work." Patton gives her a grateful nod and moves in for the kill.
That's when everyone sees the malevolence behind Landry's move! When Jeri raises her fists, her bikini top slips down, hanging in front of her belly from her elbows, exposing her freckled breasts to the ogling eyes and cellphone cameras of the crowd! Ryan drops her hands in an unconscious attempt at modesty, and Patton takes advantage of the opening to hammer a left hook to the side of Jeri's head. Ryan's knees buckle and she sits back, stumbling to the ropes trying to keep her feet, then grabs the top strand with her right hand to stay uprigh; her left hand high to protect her face. Paula steps with, her right fist sweeping across under Ryan's left, crushing her left breast! Jeri's mouthpiece comes out along with her squeal of pain, her hands dropping to cradle her bosom.
Lohan, after looking at Stone and seeing her still in her seat with her hands over her eyes, leans in to scream at Landry, telling her to stop the fight long enough to put Ryan's mouth guard in, but Landry angrily waves her off, adding a malevolent glare and warning her about further interference with the referee! Jeri Ryan swaying unsteadily, her arms out in front of her, hands on Paula's shoulders trying to hold her off. Patton swings both fists under Ryan's elbows, speed bagging her 'goodies' - forehand and backhand - Patton disregarding any attempt to protect herself, knowing where Ryan's hands are.
With tears streaming from her eyes, Jeri leans forward and tries to push Patton backward, but Paula is single minded in her attack, her narrowed eyes fixed on the freckled flesh bouncing, flopping, and jiggling in front of her whiplashing gloves. Ryan stops pushing as the pain increases, then Paula starts coming forward, driving Jeri back with a flurry of hard, open-handed, cuffing slaps to her jumpin' juggs! Ryan, almost blinded by her tears, keeps backing away from the hurt as Patton continues to ladle it on with both hands as Landry walks along beside the two women, her eyes bright, her lips curled in a cruel grin, the sound of her giggling lost in the screams of the women standing at ringside who are cheering the humiliation of the woman who, for the past 18 years has earned the reputation of one of the most hated and reviled characters in the FCBA - second only to Charlize Theron. Ryan's destruction of her rivals, both in the ring and the board room, is almost legendary and now, her chickens are coming home to roost in her cleavage has now been exposed to the world.
At ringside, one voice is louder than all others; a tall, blond, Australian screaming, "Don't trip over those sagging udders, luv...no wonder ya keep 'em under wraps!" But Jeri was too busy sobbing, panting, and praying that someone would come save her to pay any attention to Strahovski.
Jeri was ready to take a knee and tell the hated Landry she couldn't continue when the bell rang, and rang, and rang! Even then, Landry didn't move to pull Patton off, it was Paula who realized the bell was ringing and stepped away, looking at Landry as if to say, "What's the matter with you?"
In an incredible three minutes of action, Jeri Ryan hadn't recorded a single hit on Patton, while the 'punchstat' computer at ringside had so overheated trying to keep up, it had shut down and was, like Ryan herself, a smoking ruin! Patton's lopsided score - without a knockdown - put her back into a big lead after three action-and-controversy-filled rounds unexpectedly high drama action!
Between Rounds: Sharon Stone shook herself from her angst-filled stupor and returned to Ryan's corner where Lohan had brought Jeri after scrambling into the ring and gently guiding her to her stool. While Stone tried to pull Ryan out of her painfilled mental funk, Lohan did what the little redhead had always had a talent for doing...looking into Ryan's cleavage problem. She found Jeri's top on the arena floor where it had gotten kicked during the action in the ring. It hadn't been damaged, just unfastened by Landry's nimble fingers, although Ryan's breasts were already so swollen it was a tight fit and Jeri groaned as Lindsay gently lifted each one carefully into its cup and secured the band around Jeri's heaving chest. "You know what you've got to do now?" Stone hissed in Jeri's ear as she wiped the tears from her face and poured cold water on her, soaking her already sweat dampened top in the process.
R4: Once again, Patton was on her feet before the bell, eager to get back in Jeri's "legendary" bosom - which didn't look all that 'great' at the moment, her bruised flesh swelling up over the top of her bra. The way Ryan winced each time she moved told Paula that if she landed a couple of hard shots, Jeri would almost certainly throw in the towel rather than accept even the slightest bit more pain. Ryan was still sitting, leaning back as Lohan pulled on her bikini trying to pump air back into Jeri's battered lungs.
Just as the previous round, Patton raced across the ring and threw a right as Jeri was rising from her stool. Just as the previous round, it connected, and as the previous round Ryan collapsed back into her corner, her hands fumbling grasping at the ropes. But unlike the previous round, this time Patton didn't drive her knee into Jeri's belly - there was no need - the forearm smash she gave Jeri's ravaged rack was more than sufficient to slam Ryan's butt back down onto the middle turnbuckle, leaving her folded over with both arms folded across her throbbing bosom as 'flop sweat' ran from her face to dribble on the floor between her feet!
"You had enough old lady?" Landry asked Jeri as she leaned in over Patton's shoulder to enjoy the sight of her longtime nemesis in pain! Jeri slowly lifted her head; eyes red from crying; and slowly shook her head 'no'. Ali gave a surprised start at the unexpected refusal. But she patted Paula on the back and said, "She's all yours; I won't stop it."
Patton elbowed Landry aside and grabbed Ryan's ponytail, then dragged her bent over to the center of the ring where she'd have plenty of room wind up and swing...and where the ropes weren't close enough to help Ryan when she went down...assuming she even tried to get up again!
Paula wound up and unleashed (maybe) the hardest right hand she'd thrown in several years... CRACK! The loud sound of her right wrist striking Jeri's raised left forearm startled many in the audience, but it send shockwaves vibrating all the way up Paula's arm, numbing it clear to her shoulder! Patton stumbled back, shocked the battered blonde had managed to lift her arm, let alone in time to block the punch. It took a moment for her to realize her senseless right arm was dangling limp. She tried to, but couldn't, lift it and she knew she was in deep trouble!
Jeri trudged forward, as yet unaware of Paula's predicament. She pushed out a limp jab, her left arm
still tingling after the hard the impact with Paula's wrist. Patton circled behind a left hook that rocked Jeri's head to the side, then she doubled up on it, this one bouncing high off Jeri's shoulder as she continue to lean to her left from the blow to her head. Paula realized she must continue to punch, not give Ryan a chance to recover and fight back. Two more left hands forced Jeri to continue her retreat but now Ryan realized Paula's right arm was still hanging by her side and that this may be her only chance to turn it around!
Jeri cocked her right hand at her ear, but kept her right elbow in front to protect her right breast from Paula's dangerous left hook. Jeri kept pumping the jab in Paula's face, forcing the brunette's feet to keep moving, preventing her from setting herself to throw her left. Murmurs ran through the crowd as the fans started to realize 'something' had happened. Their reaction included a big groan from the Lioness' Club - joined by every other 'right thinking' brunette and redhead who saw Ryan as a symbol for everything wrong with the FCBA for many years (too damm many blondes!)
Jeri kept the pressure on, moving forward behind her jab, flicking out a straight right whenever Paula's moving to her left provided an opening she thought she might exploit. This awkward dance continued for almost a minute, with neither landing a telling blow, then Jeri finally took the risk of stepping into Patton's left, and once inside the arc, send a right hook smashing against Patton's left ear. The punch turned Paula halfway around, giving Jeri an opening for a second right hand, this one high on the brunette's forehead as Patton was already beginning to fall backward. The right to her head hastened her fall and Paula landed hard on her butt, then rolled onto her back!
Jeri stood looming over Patton, sweat dripping from her nose and chin, her fists clenched at her hips, daring the brunette to get up. As soon as Paula hit the canvas, Landry - who'd been leaning in one corner watching the 'action' with disinterest since any chance of Ryan being beaten and humiliated seemed gone - roused herself and hurried over to grab Jeri, wrapping her arms around her from behind and clamping her in a tight bearhug...deliberately crushing her aching breasts as she did. Jeri let out a whine that made Ali's heart beat faster with excitement as she dragged the blond, kicking and squirming, clear across the ring and then slammed her chestfirst into the corner turnbuckles! "Stay there and don't move until I tell you Ryan," Landry snarled....secretly hoping Jeri would come after her so she'd have an excuse to hit her with her MMA gloved fists a couple of times.
But when Landry stepped back ready to defend herself, Jeri turned around and leaned back on the ropes, not giving any indication she wanted anything to do with a fresh, eager to fight, opponent. Ali smirked as she slowly turned and walked back to where Patton was rolling around on the mat, struggling to sit up. Ali was pretty sure at least ten or fifteen seconds had already passed since the knockdown, but she still circled around Paula twice before she leaned down and hissed, "Get up you pussy, she's ready for the taking. What the hell are you waiting for?" The next word out of her mouth was, "ONE!"
Ryan was so angry she almost ran across the ring to argue with Landry, but she was tired and her body battered...besides, by now she knew nobody was going to do anything about Landry - at least not until after the fight, when it would be too late. So she took the time she'd gained to catch her breath and calm herself down. Getting mad wasn't going to do her any good, not with Landry in charge! She closed her eyes and tried to center herself and when she opened them, Patton was back on her feet and Landry was taking her mouthpiece from her and walking over to Paula's corner to wash it off, giving Patton another thirty or more seconds to recover. Jeri thought about just challenging Landry to fight her right then and there, but she knew that was what Ali wanted her to do.
Finally, after a long break, Landry had Patton back together and, more or less, ready to go. Jeri walked over and when Paula raised her hands, Jeri's heart sank to the pit of her stomach. Paula's right arm was up and she looked ready to use her right hand again! Not good! Not having a choice, Jeri quickly snapped out her jab, hitting Paula in the face. Again! A second jab rocked the brunette's head back. Ryan pushed out a third jab, this time Paula's right lifted just enough to deflect it, but Jeri's right was already on the way and she smacked Patton in the cheek, sending her reeling back to the ropes!
Jeri moved with her, pummeling Paula's torso with several hard right crosses and left hooks, keeping her ducking and moving to avoid direct impacts, but too busy to throw punches. Both were exhausted from all the punches they'd thrown, and all the punches they'd taken, so they both heaved a sigh of relief a few seconds later when the bell rang ending the fourth round. This one in Ryan's favor, and by a wide margin thanks to Paula's injured right arm.
Between Rounds: Claudia Schiffer and Odette Yustman scramble to get Paula to her stool where Claudia goes to work on Patton's right wrist and elbow; Yustman taking the responsibility for getting the rest of her ready for the next round. Across the ring, Ryan looks down; she'd had the chance to put an end to Patton, but she hadn't had the energy, the stamina, or the will, to push herself the extra bit it would have taken. Now, she's looking across the expanse of dirty, blood spattered, canvas and seeing a brunette who is growing stronger by the second. Even worse, Landry is bouncing up and down on her toes, unable to contain herself until Patton stretches Jeri out on her back. Ryan has no illusions about what would happen next....it's a JMDD bout and Patton's never shown any interest in them. Landry, on the other hand, is dressed ready to unleash her puppies on Jeri's face at the first opportunity!
R5: (Paula KD min 1; Jeri KD min 2; Jeri finishes Paula on the ropes, referee steps in TKO5!)
Jeri struggles to her feet as the ten second warning buzzer sounds, takes a deep breath, wincing at the pain as her chest expands her swoolen breasts in the restrictively tight bikini top. Landry and Patton, both watching her intently, both smile at her pain, knowing it's a weakness they can each exploit in her own way. Ryan hesitates when she hears the bell, a small part of her brain telling her it's not too late to turn around and simply pack it in after thirty-five years of fighting. But another part of her brain argues she can't quit, and besides it's only another few minut....
Jeri shakes her head, hearing a strange ringing in her ears. She looks around and realizes she's sitting with her head resting on the bottom rope in a boxing ring! What am I.... oh, right. Patton! She blinks, her vision slowly clearing to reveal the leering smirking face of Ali Landry who's sweeping her arm in front of Jeri as she counts... "SIX!" Ryan reaches behind her, feeling for the middle rope she needs to help pull herself to her knees so she can beat the... "SEVEN!" ...count!
'Damn, she's counting fast,' Jeri realizes, trying to hurry.
"EIGHT!"
Ryan gets one leg under her, pushes up on one knee...
"NINE!"
She leans forward, taking the weight off her back leg, pushes up...
"TE..."
Landry's hand stops two-thirds of the way past Jeri's face, then Ali chuckling, says, "Nah, that'd be too easy. I want to see you stretched out and asleep in your final fight." She grabs Jeri's wrists, checks her gloves, quick rubs them on her breasts to clean the dirt, then waves at Paula to 'come on over'.
Ryan's back on the ropes, crabs sideways, her left arm extended, palm out. She's not going to jab, she just wants to keep Paula's right hand at bay as long as possible while she tries to clear her hea..
"OHHhhhhhh....." An explosion of pain in Jeri's right breast reminds her Patton's right isn't the only hand she should worry about. Her eyes tearing from pain, Jeri slaps Paula with her open left hand and steps around behind it, turning Patton away to create room to run, to put both space - and time - between her and her pursuer. It's been a long since Ryan had run from another fighter, but she'd only won one fight in two years... maybe if she'd run more often...?
Jeri whirled around to face Patton who had turned to chase her. They came together and exchanged right hands, Jeri's cross sailing wide as Patton slipped it; Paula's looping overhand crashing down onto Jeri's left breast.
"UNNNNNGGGH...." Ryan's right knee unhinging as she flinches from the pain and she nearly topples over, catching herself at the last second to hobble away. Paula has a big grin on her lips. 'She's enjoying it,' Jeri thought. 'That b*tch!' If she thought Paula was enjoying it, Ryan should've seem Landry, whose smile was wide as Kansas. The only thing Ali Landry would've enjoyed more than a front row seat to watch Ryan's body destroyed by a brunette would be if Ali herself had been the one doing it!
Patton saw Jeri falter and knew her moment had come. Although off balance, she nevertheless lunged and threw a wild haymaker at Ryan's exposed jaw. Only a last second unconscious reaction by Jeri's brain avoided her getting crushed by Paula's punishing punch, to be left starfished on the canvas for Landry... and who knows how many other brunettes... to have their way with her as she lay oblivious and unconscious to the humiliation inflicted upon her helpless body.
Instead, her left hand jerked up between her and Patton's right, accidentally (she would later tell reporters) hitting Paula squarely on the point of her jaw. Patton's brain shut down, but she remained upright, although her body was unaware of it by this time. Jeri's follow-on right cross was 'frosting on the cake' as it were, totally turning off Patton's lights and sprawling her on her back, oblivious to anything that happened after the moment of impact.
Ali Landry, stood rooted to her spot on the canvas as Patton slow-motion cratered into the mat and lay unmoving at her feet, clearly not coming around anytime soon. Landry drew back her foot as if to kick Patton, then realizing all eyes were on her, she grudgingly, and with malice in her gaze, waved off the count and then turned and left the ring without bothering to raise the hand of her hated rival and nemesis, Jeri 'Freakin' Ryan, your winner by KO5!"
* * *
After: After Ryan autographed her gloves, she tossed them into the crowd where a blonde scramble ensued for souvenirs from what looked like the last time Jeri would ever appear in an FCBA ring as a competitor. If so, she certainly went out with a BANG! Jeri turned and stomped across the ring to confront Patton who was slumped on her stool, elbows on knees, head bowed!
Jeri stopped in front of her and lifted Patton's chin with her hand, then leaned in and said something to her in a voice so low, not even the sensitive ring microphones were able to pick it up. Then Jeri let Paula's head drop, spun on her heel and strutted away, not even bothering to take her hard-earned JMDD breast smother of her defeated opponent.
Later, Ryan would magnanimously say, "Paula fought well; she did everything she could to win that fight and, in all honesty, she'd done nothing that merited the privilege of having these lovely ladies on her face," she added, cupping her still throbbing and obviously swollen breasts in her hands.
"The one who deserves to be punished, is that odious brunette bimbo Ali Landry. At no point in the fight did she ever make a single decision that was NOT based on personal animus or favoritism toward a fellow brunette. The one time Patton might have taken unfair advantage of Landry's illegal favortism, she backed off and didn't. That says a lot more about Paula Patton's sportsmanship than it does about Landry's refereeing!"
When asked if she would ever fight again after she turned fifty, Ryan bristled. "I'm still better than half of the bimbos fighting, and more qualified than three-quarters of the ones in JMDD, so 'yes' I plan to continue fighting until I can't handle it any longer. And as far as my next opponent, I'd like nothing better than to be the woman who retires that cxnt, Ali Landry!!"
Patton, her career probably ended by this upset loss to Ryan, was too distraught to leave her locker room. Despite that, there were those who argued, "If Ryan thinks she's competitive, then anyone who saw her in the ring with Paula Patton has got to understand that Patton's twice the fighter Ryan is at this point in their careers." He added, "I'd rather see 'Patton-Ryan II' than another boring Ryan-Landry fight, and that's despite how great Ryan's hooters still look!"
END
